


Atleast We aren't mutts, Right?

by BadBoyDeanAsf



Series: At least- Series. [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alpha Beverly Marsh, Alpha Bill Denbrough, Alpha Mike Hanlon, Alpha Richie Tozier, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Beta Ben Hanscom, Beta Stanley Uris, Claiming, Claiming Bites, Consensual Underage Sex, F/M, M/M, Mating, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mating Rituals, Omega Eddie Kaspbrak, Possessive Behavior, Public Claiming, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 28,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23238727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBoyDeanAsf/pseuds/BadBoyDeanAsf
Summary: The question of ‘What to do?’ came up everyday after school, and every day during the summer. It started with Stan asking Richie, and the taller boy responding with a ‘I have no idea.’ at the age of three.When he was five he met Eddie, and they hit it off right away- So when the little hypochondriac asked him what they were going to do after school- He had the same answer, ‘I have no idea.’Except that time, Richie desperately wanted to give a different answer. Richie wanted to impress his new friend, He wanted nothing more than to take Eddie somewhere awesome. Somewhere to escape.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: At least- Series. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1670842
Comments: 119
Kudos: 201





	1. At least I'm not a mutt, Right?

**_T_** he thing about growing up in Derry, Maine- Is that there is literally not a single thing to do. 

Not when you're a kid, Not when you're a teen- And when you get older and you have to go to work, That's all you get to do. The people in the town grow up and get a job, and they do that for their entire lives until they fucking die.

The question of ‘What to do?’ came up everyday after school, and every day during the summer. It started with Stan asking Richie, and the taller boy responding with a ‘I have no idea.’ at the age of three. 

When he was five he met Eddie, and they hit it off right away- So when the little hypochondriac asked him what they were going to do after school- He had the same answer, ‘I have no idea.’

Except that time, Richie desperately wanted to give a different answer. Richie wanted to impress his new friend, He wanted nothing more than to take Eddie somewhere awesome. Somewhere to escape. 

Richie had done the only thing he could do, and he asked his dad. 

He asked the one person he knew, who was actually cool- His dad had always told him about the adventures he had gone on with his friends as a teen. Back in the fifties they had all these cool drive ins and shit. 

Maybe, If they had those now he could take Eddie- Wait no, Both his friends somewhere nice.

Who the fuck is he kidding? Back then he wanted nothing more than to take Eddie somewhere nice and to make that kid smile- To watch his eyes light up and his arms flail around in excitement.

Went sat him down on the counter as he chopped onions for their Sunday dinner.

“Well, When I was about your age- I used to go explore all over town- I would find little places that no one had ever been to before.” The older man explained.

Richie had listened intently, nodding his head along to his father’s story.

He imagined himself, Taking Eddie on all these adventures- Showing him around the town, going anywhere. 

One of the biggest things he knew about Eddie, was that his mother never knew anything about the town or other people. His mom would take him to doctors all the time, and those were the only places Eddie really knew about- Other than his house and the block they live on.

  
It had only taken Richie about a week and a half to find a place that was cool enough to show Eddie and Stan. 

It was just a tiny little hole in the wall of a thrift store, and his mother had let him lead her inside for him to look around at all the vinyls and old clothes. It had filled him with so much joy and excitement that he had to bring his friends there the next chance he got.

He sat himself down on the hot cement of his sidewalk as he watched Eddie to slow and careful steps towards Richie’s house. The older of the two (Himself) gave Eddie an eager wave when the smaller boy had made it in front of him and sequentially sat himself down next to Richie.

“Spaghetti! I found the bestest new place!” He waved his own arms around with enthusiasm.

“Yeah okay, Richie- You’ve seen everything in town..I haven’t” He mumbled, Sadness beginning to seep into his voice.

The curly head boy shook his head dramatically, “You should come with me this time!” He paused, holding onto Eddie’s hand, “My mommy told me when you came over that she would drive us.”

Eddie gave him a soft smile, this time he was shaking his own head- Although it was in dismay.

“My mommy will never let me go.” 

-But she did, Somehow, Some way- Sonia had agreed to let Maggie take them both to the thrift store, And Richie had shown him every single object in the store over the next ten years. 

So when he met Bill and Bev during those ten years, He took them there too- And he showed them all the things he had grown to love about that very store and the things he had taken home from it.

Just like everything in Derry though, It got old. 

It didn’t get old fast- Obviously, It took Richie ten years than it usually would for him to get bored of something, And initially it didn’t get boring- It wasn’t just slang when he meant it got old. It quite literally did. 

Over time the store had gotten less and less popular, And the objects got less and less cool. The appeal had worn off and all the customers thinned out along with it. 

Eventually the glowing sign that blinked red in ‘Thrift’ went out permanently.

Thats how Richie Tozier ended up dragging his friends into the woods on a saturday night, in 1992- In the first weekend of his junior year of highschool.

“I can’t believe it fucking closed.” 

The words slipped out of his mouth as he slammed his tray onto the worn out green wooden table. 

“I know Rich, But it's not like we can just reopen it on our own.” 

He was encircled again by all his friends, all of them sitting in the same pattern as they had in every cafeteria, Every school day for the last ten years. 

“Well I guess we need to find a new place then, Huh?” Richie questioned, leaning his head on his hand- Watching Eddie pick out his food out of the corner of his eye.

The fleeting thoughts of his best friend weren't so fleeting anymore.

Eddie knew everything about Richie, and vice versa- But the one thing Eddie didn’t know, was just how fiercely Richie loved him. 

Richie loved him in ways that were only seen in movies, He loved him so deeply that sometimes it ached in his chest. Ever since he had met Eddie- Wait not even then, When he had watched Eddie look around with wide eyes as he and his mother moved into their cauldosac. 

He knew Eddie would follow him anywhere, But the thing Richie needed Eddie to know is that Richie would follow Eddie everywhere if he could.

He would follow Eddie to the end of the earth if he could.

“We’ve been just about everywhere in town.” Bev stated off to him, As if he didn’t know.

Richie and Eddie gave the red head an insync eyeroll and groan, Because it was something they had both said a million times over.

“W-we’ve never b-been to the b-b-barrens before.” Bill piped up, popping a fry into his mouth.

“Well then, I guess that's where we’re goin’ after school.” Richie crunched on a handful of chips, talking through his bites as if it wasn’t one of the most disgusting things in the world.

He knew it was- At least to Eddie, _**But hey! It isn’t like he's a mutt.**_ He kinda chews his food.


	2. Myths and Magick.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘Myths and magic?’ 
> 
> This kid was weird, but he was also really fucking cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends!
> 
> I got the most amazing comment on this fic today and it inspired me to light one of my creativity candles and start to type up another chapter, I dont think this really qualifies as a filler, but I think its somewhere in-between plot and filler.
> 
> I really hope you all enjoy this chapter and that it gets some attention.
> 
> Comments, Kudos, and subscriptions mean the world to me.
> 
> Stay safe during this epidemic and stay creative!
> 
> Love, Kellie <3

_**T**_ hey didn’t end up going to the barrens that day, Mostly because Eddie didn’t even get the chance to put up a false fight and then within seconds agree to Riches shenanigans.

After Richie had announced his new plan to go running around the woods- ‘Where no one could hear them scream’ Richie had laughed out in his “ _Alien”_ narrator voice, The bell had rung and the five of them had gotten up and dragged themselves to their individual classes, Splitting them all up and parting to every remote corner of their school.

Richie always walked Eddie home.

They lived close enough to the school that they walked there and back every single day, Eddie had made a point- From the very first day they walked to school together- That they had to be on time. 

So from six thirty in the morning, When he got woken up by a very antsy Eddie- To two fifty four, Richie waited to walk him home.

-And without fail, He always took the shorter boy’s bookbag and walked next to him all the way to their street. Even on the days that he himself had detention, he would sneak himself out- Just to make sure Eddie was okay- And when Eddie had an afterschool activity, Like fucking ‘Recycling club’ and ‘gardening club’, Richie would sit on the bleachers and smoke till the afterschool clubs ended and he could take Eddie home.

At one point Richie had tried to join recycling club, And he had gotten kicked out- Within twenty minutes- It was a new record for him!

At least in the afterschool activities section of his record- Maybe it was because he had never joined one before.

Gardening club didn’t last long for Eddie, Because he did in fact have allergies and one of them was pollin. Eddie had cried into his shoulder for a whole thirty minutes, Telling Richie all these pointless lies about himself. 

‘I’m so broken! I'm screwed! I'm fucked!’

‘I can’t even plant petunia’s!’ 

So here they were, Once again walking home together- Bumping shoulders and telling each other about their classes. 

“No, You don’t need to talk to anyone, Richie- They’re just teasing because I’m tiny..Just like you.” Eddie shrugged as he spoke, Shrinking in on himself.

Richie looked up at the sky, the sun shining into his eyes and making ugly glares in his glasses. He hated hearing these things, That people were picking on Eddie.

The younger of the two was so strong, He was so independant and was an absolute fucking fire cracker- But he was only one when he was comfortable, When he knew he could win. 

-Because Eddie knew him better than anyone else, It was just so easy for Richie to give in, But the other kids- They don’t give in, They laugh. 

‘.Just like you.’

No, They were nothing like him- He loved Eddie, worshipped and saw no flaw in that boy. He teased him because he needed the attention of someone so beautiful and kind. Someone so perfect.

These kids weren’t teasing him because they were in love, They were teasing him because they were assholes and Eddie was an easy target.

“No, Eds- Nothing like me.” He paused, taking Edide’s hand and stopping them both- Ironically at the stop sign, Right where their street begins. 

“I tease you because you’re my best friend, I would never hurt you.” 

Eddie looked up at him, In the way he always did- Like Richie hung the moon for him- And if Richie could have, He already would’ve. 

He received a small smile from his best friend as he started back up in his explanation, “They want to hurt you- To upset you.” 

“You don’t deser-” His entire sentence came to a halt.

“Rich!” 

Of course he only heard Eddie’s warning when it was too late and he was falling on his ass, and unfortunately pulling Eddie down with him. 

As he adjusted his glasses, He saw a chubby boy running past them- Of course the poor had knocked them over- But he looked so absolutely terrified that Richie couldn’t seem to mind and the only real urge he had was to check on the boy.

Richie stood himself up, pulling Eddie up once he had his own footing.

Then he was taking off like a rocket, chasing that boy to make sure he was okay- Only to realise he wasn’t the only one chasing him. A group of much taller kids were on both of their asses and Richie took a gulp, His own fear seeping into his bones.

“Hey! Dude! Stop!” Richie yelled in the kids general direction as he huffed, attempting to catch his breath.

The blonde boy turned his head to look at Richie with wide eyes, pointing to a small house on the most recently designed block in Derry. 

Richie nodded, a small little jerk of the head really.

It was only then he realised that he had been dragging Eddie along with him, Who looked like he was on the verge of passing out. 

Richie felt immediately guilty, But knew he couldn’t exactly stop- If he did, Who knows what could happen. He held on to Eddie’s hand just a little bit tighter as he ran behind the small white panelled house and into the gated backyard, watching as the gate door slammed closed and locked.

It might’ve been a terrifying sight, If Richie wasn’t so scared about getting the shit beaten out of him. 

He released his best friend's hand, wiping the sweat from his own hands, rubbing them on his jeans.

“Dude, What the fuck?” It was more of a question to the air, But when he looked down at the blonde boy, who was just a few inches taller than Eddie- He was hit with shock.

This kid was fucking bleeding.

Richie wasn’t a doctor by any means, but he knew it was bad.

The kid was leaning against the stoop to his deck, letting out litting pained noises, and when Eddie finally locked eyes with the kid, he was the one to shoot into action, closing the distance between them quickly and leaning on the deck steps.

“Hey? Are you okay? What’s your name?” Eddie was already hitting him with questions as he pulled his first aid fanny pack open from his backpack.

He only kept it with him for emergencies, no longer wearing it- Even though it was so cute!cute!cute!

He walked over to the both of them taking gentle steps, and sitting by the side of the blonde boy.

“Dude you got gutted.” He chuckled.

Eddie glared at him, “Beep Beep motherfucker! He’s bleeding!” 

The stranger blushed a deep red, “Im-” He let out a squeak as Eddie pressed a cloth to his stomach wound.

Well at least they know where the blood is coming from now.

“I’m Ben.” His voice was shaky but he finally got his words out.

Alright Ben, We’ve met you, You were chased by scary college kids, You’re fucking bleeding- Great.

“Yeah okay, Uh- I’m Richie, and this is Eddie Spaghetti, and We’re gonna save you- So you dont fucking die.” He spoke in a hurried voice, “Anything I can do, Eds?”

“No! We have no fucking Idea where your hands have been today.” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Richie chuckled, Even though his face had a worried expression for the boy still bleeding out in front of him.

  
They called his fucking mother.

Maggie Tozier was a nurse, a really fucking great nurse- And maybe if it wasn’t the 80’s in Derry,Maine- she would’ve been a esteemed doctor. 

-But no, Here she was, patching up some random kid in his backyard so he doesn’t bleed out and die, And so Richie and his best friend don’t get cuffed for murder.

“Ma! I swear, I had nothing to do with it.” Richie pleaded.

“Yes Richard, I’m sure you just stumbled onto a bleeding boy on your walk home from school.” She dead panned.

Eddie blanched at her candor and took a small step forward, “Really Mrs. Tozier it’s the exact opposite, He stumbled into us and we had to help him, We couldn’t let him die.”

Maggie gave Eddie a soft smile, “Aw Eddie, You’re so sweet- I don’t know why you’re friends with my boy.” She laughed as she finished wrapping Ben.

  
Richie wasn’t so sure Either, But he was so fucking lucky to know this boy- To love this boy, Even if he wasn’t loved back, Atleast in the way he wanted.

  
Maggie left them to it, Leaving all three boys together again- In an awkward silence, One that Richie needed to fill.

Ben led them inside to his room with a soft sigh as he sat down on his comfy looking bed.

Richie looked around the room, and if you looked with only one eye, Maybe it would look normal- It had all these new kids on the block posters and vinyls hung up- But the otherside was kinda weird.

There was stacks of books on top of books, covering an entire wall, And above them was multiple maps that had little dots all around it, They were kinda cool- If they weren’t so weird.

“Damn, Are you doin’ a school project or something- Ben?” He questioned as he walked up to the maps.

Ben shook his head, watching him closely, “Nope, I just like knowing things.” 

“Like?” Eddie cocked his head, as if the movement would get him a better answer- If it was Richie, He would’ve gotten any answer he wanted.

“Anything really- But I really like myths and magic, I dunno’ there's something about it that I find interesting.” 

_**“Mr. Haystack, I think we could get used to you.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Babies!
> 
> Reach me on all my platforms,
> 
> @toziersspaghettihead on tumblr
> 
> @kellsdoesart on Ko-fi! Please support my art! I'll write you a commission fic if you'd like!
> 
> @kells-does-art on Instagram
> 
> @kells-does-art on pinterest
> 
> & @kellsdoesart on my blog = Blogger!
> 
> Ask me anything you'd like on any of these! Lets be friends!
> 
> Love, Kellie.


	3. Some people are made for eachother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie was right, He got used to Ben Hanscom quickly- Mostly because his grandmother kept filling their stomachs with chocolate chip cookies- Really fucking good chocolate chip cookies. Ben had told him that his grandma owned a bakery in Boston before they moved to Derry.
> 
> Eddie had insisted that they check on Ben the next day, And Richie had agreed quickly. Not only to make sure their new friend was okay but because he really fucking wanted another cookie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends!
> 
> So I was writing on and off all day! I wanted nothing more than to bring you guys a long chapter, but alas 2k is all I could do! Quarantine shit is crazy!!
> 
> I hope you all are safe and well!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and subscriptions are appreciated!
> 
> Love,Kellie. <3

_**R**_ ichie was right, He got used to Ben Hanscom quickly- Mostly because his grandmother kept filling their stomachs with chocolate chip cookies- Really fucking good chocolate chip cookies. Ben had told him that his grandma owned a bakery in Boston before they moved to Derry.

Eddie had insisted that they check on Ben the next day, And Richie had agreed quickly. Not only to make sure their new friend was okay but because he really fucking wanted another cookie.

They bumped shoulders as they made their way to Ben’s house, Eddie talking animatedly about how pissed he was that his mother didn’t want him leaving the house with Richie on a weekend. 

“Rich- I just don’t understand why she hates you so much! You never did anything wrong!” He knew Eddie was trying to keep his voice down- In case any of their neighbors heard him talking trash about his mother. It wasn’t exactly working.

“Eddie- It’s fine, She hasn’t liked me our entire lives..It's not going to change now.” He shrugs, bumping into Eddie’s side playfully.

  
“-But it isn’t alright Rich! You’re my best friend! I don’t like the way she talks to you.”

.Best Friend. 

.Right.

He used to wear that word like a badge of honor, But now it mostly just stung- Because Richie was Eddie’s best friend, But for Richie- For Richie Tozier, Eddie was his everything. 

How can someone live their whole lives being loved, Loving someone so intensely so fiercely and not being loved back? Well- Richie had no idea.

He felt like he was five all over again, Being asked what to do, And having no real answer. He wasn’t little anymore, and he couldn’t run to his dad for advice this time- Not about this anyway. What the fuck do you do when you’re in love with your best friend and you can’t tell them?

Well, Richie does the one thing he can do- He makes Eddie happy the only way he possibly can, The only way he’s capable of. He makes Eddie smile, and laugh- He makes Eddie tell him just how dumb he is. He watches Eddie run around, absolutely free from the chains of his mom, For even just a little while.

“Eddie Spaghetti, I gotta tell ya’ this whole worrying thing is lame-” He chuckles, walking backwards so he could face his best friend.

“Don't ‘cha know it’ll give you wrinkles?” He teased, booping Eddie on the nose with his ringed index finger.

Eddie’s face turned into a pout, his brow furrowing, “Richie Tozier! If you don’t stop touching my face like I’m a child! Im going to murder you!” 

The taller boy’s face turned upwards into a giant grin, as he spun his own body back around. He ran at a moderate speed, Because no matter how fast of a runner Eddie was, He couldn’t keep up with Richie’s tall ass legs.

They reached the Hanscom residence with red faces and absolutely no breath in either of their lungs. Richie didn’t even need to knock on the door, because it was swinging open the minute they stepped foot on the white wooden porch.

Ben’s smiling face looked up at Richie, and then turned downward just a little to look at Eddie- The latter still being given the same gentle smile as Richie had.

Richie had noticed just how kind Ben was about fifteen minutes into meeting him. The blonde boy had shown the pair of friends around his room while he cleaned it up just a little, He kept saying ‘I'm so sorry for the mess! I just moved in.’ 

Neither Richie or Eddie really cared about the mess, Mostly Richie, Because he was kinda a slob himself, But Eddie was learning to get used to them, as he had been cleaning Richie’s room nearly every time he came over- And that was like..Every other day.

  
Ben ushered both of them inside, Eddie giving a small wave to Ben’s grandmother as they walked past the kitchen and into Ben’s small bedroom. Ben motioned for the pair to sit anywhere they’d like, As Ben had finally been able to move more of his stuff inside his room after they had left the previous day.

Richie’s eyes immediately landed on a green and pink beanbag chair- And hey, The pattern might seem ugly to others, But its the fuckin’ nineties- What do ya expect?

He grabbed onto his best friend’s wrist, quickly pulling him down with him as he fell onto the soft chair. His cackling laugh echoed in the room as he watched Eddie attempt to shoot up, only being locked in with Richie’s arms around him.

“Richie! You can’t just-” 

Eddie stopped his own sentence, Because for the first time- They got to see Ben laugh, Like a full belly laugh that they had yet to see out of him. The type of laughs that they give each other all the time.

The Losers, Well- They had that effect on each other, More so Richie and Eddie- But almost every ten minutes, Someone was laughing at a horrendous joke or terrible move. Someone in the group was throwing something in someone’s (Mainly Richie’s) face.

There was Bev, always there- trying to make tiny braids in all of the boy’s hair, And because Richie’s was the longest- and messiest- He would sit down and let her have her way with his long curls. 

He never minded, and he didn’t care about any of the cackles he would get from the rest of the boys in their puny club. 

Eddie never made fun of him actually, He had once- The only time ever- Had called it absolutely cute. He had even asked him to wear the braids to school the next day, And of course- Richie did. He would’ve done anything to see that shy little smile on Eddie’s face and it gave him all sorts of joy to know he was the one putting it there.

Obviously, Ben’s laugh didn’t fill him with all the bubbly and giddiness feelings of a twelve year old girl. -But it did make him feel great to make other people smile and laugh too. If there was one thing he loved doing, It was bringing joy to other people- His own happiness be damned.

Ben looked over at the both of them blanching slightly, cocking his head to the side to question them. 

“What are you guys looking at..?” He spoke quietly.

“Nothing bad Ben! We’re just happy to see you happy!” Eddie gave him a genuine smile, The ones only given to bonafide Losers’. 

Ben shook his head a little, In a shy manner that Richie had noticed he does often, Usually shrinking in on himself when he does it or when he's embarrassed. Richie has that effect on people way too often, But he didn’t mind, Because when they stopped being embarrassed, They joined the fun too.

-It reminds him of when he got to meet the very serious Bill Denbrough, In the first grade. Richie had been minding his own business, making walrus faces with straws so he could make his Eddie Spaghetti laugh, when Stan had shown up, Dragging the tall- Very angry looking boy towards them.

Immediately Richie had gotten the fantastic idea to make walrus noises to scare him off, Not even to make him laugh, But so Eddie wouldn’t get upset that there was such a serious person in their midst.

To Richie’s surprise, Bill had stared at him, with a completely blank face and then burst into bubbles of laughter, He laughed so hard he fell on his ass. ‘Till this day he sees it as one of his greatest accomplishments.

“Its- It's hard not to be happy around you guys, You both just have such a great energy.. Y’know?” Ben shrugged his shoulders as he sat on the end of his bed, near the bean bag so he could be close to his new friends.

Great Energy? No idea.

“Well- Uh, No I don’t know? But please, please, please tell us more, Benny boy.”

Ben reaches over towards the top of the bed to pick up a medium sized, aging book- One that Richie would never even think of opening, And the type of book Eddie would absolutely never touch.

“Well, I read some stuff.. About people who just click?” Ben started, flipping open a few pages in, “They’re called soulmates, And apparently not all of them are like..Romantic? Sometimes they’re just people who are meant to spend their lives together.” 

Eddie turned his head behind him, to look up at Richie- He had a glint in his eyes that Richie really couldn’t fucking read, and he hated that about his bestfriend, He could hide things so well sometimes.

Richie squeezed Eddie just a little tighter, Making Eddie give him an irritated huff, but he stayed there- On top of him, comfortable and warm. 

“Oh, Please, I need more- Don’t stop there!” His eyes darted to the book, releasing one arm from holding Eddie, Just so he could make grabby hands for the book.

“Tell me! Tell me Eddie is completely in love and devoted to me! Ben please!” He fake pleaded, acting as if it was the only thing he needed to breathe.

-And for the love of god, If he didn’t think that book was just a bunch of pages of absolute nonsense he would’ve been begging for real, praying that Eddie did actually love him, and that the ugly ass book would confirm something he always thought, That they were actually real life soulmates. Even though he knew those didn’t fucking exist, He wished they would. 

So, So, So much.

“Well- I’ve only just started the book, but basically..Some people are just meant to find each other..I guess?”

Eddie gave him an understanding nod, He really hadn’t said anything during Ben’s explanation, and didn’t even tease Richie for his continuous pleading for his undying love.

Some people are made for each other.

That wasn’t something he had ever thought about much, Maybe it was because he knew he could never be with the one person he knew was made exactly for him. He knew now more than ever that Eddie was the only person in the world for him.

The leaves were crunching under their feet as they made their way down the barrens. It turns out it wasn’t Ben’s first time down there like the rest of them. This was the very first time all of the losers have been there- at least at the same.

Eddie had once again insisted on bringing Ben along with them, and Richie had once again conceded and let the other boy tag along, He supposes its good for him to meet the losers’ anyway. 

He already was one- Without knowing it.

Richie was leading Eddie down the hill, his hand on the small of his back- Ben following behind them like a lost puppy. 

“So what brought you down here anyways, Ben?” Eddie asked him curiously, twisting his head backwards- As if they all didn’t know Eddie was already terrified of being out there and wasn’t also terrified of not looking where he was going and falling down a hill.

-But just like usual, Richie would always catch him and keep him safe, That's how it was and how it always will be.

“Well- uh, I wanted to like- Explore? Y’know..I noticed there isn’t much to do in Derry.” 

Richie huffs out a chuckle of a laugh, “Oh yeah, We know.” 

“That's why we’re here.” Eddie finishes his best friend's sentence with a small smile playing on his face.

Richie spots the fiery red hair of Bev, Before he ever sees the other two of them. He knows wherever Bev goes, Bill will follow- And wherever Bill goes..Stan will follow. Always.

He laughs to himself, It's kinda like him and Eddie, except well- Eddie doesn’t love Richie back. 

He knows somewhere deep down, Bill has this absolute raging love for Stan- He’s seen it, He saw it come out so many times. He watched it when some kid kicked sand in Stan’s eyes at the lake, He watched it when Stan got his first D on a test.

It was the kind of love Richie had for Eddie, and Stan returned it just as much as Richie wished Eddie would.

“Trashmouth! You’ve arrived!” 

The flash of red and yellow blurring in his vision as he was leapt upon by Bev, He caught her with semi- ease, as he stumbled back just a little, holding onto her tight- Even though he had only been away from her for two days- She was like his little sister, and he fucking missed her.

“Ruh-Richie, You’re here, f-fucking finally.” Bill commented, coming out of the trees. 

He already had dirt all over himself, and from what he could tell as he let Beverly back down on the ground, the rest of his friends did too. Both Stan and Beverly were covered in the dusty brown color and red clay across their clothes.

“No Hello to me, Bevvie?” Eddie sassed, sticking his hip out. 

Bev shrugged her shoulders, jumping on the smaller boy as well, and Richie watched as Eddie fell into the soft moss below them.

“Bev! No!” He heard the muffled moans and cries of Eddie from beneath Bev, as his limbs moved around trying to get out of her grasp.

“Miss. Marsh, I do believe you’re torturing the poor boy.” Richie commented, in a southern accent as he jogged towards the two boys in the distance.

“Benjamin Hanscom! Meet my losers!”

Stan’s face turns into a tight lipped frown, “You **don’t** own any of us, Richie.” He deadpans.

“Nah you’re right, And I wouldn’t want to own any of you mangy dogs.” He shrugs, pulling both boys into a large bear hug.

As he pulled away he looked towards Bev and Eddie- Of course only to check on his best friend, to see Bev pulling Ben into a hug as well.

Not unlike her in the least.

_**This was going about as swimmingly as he had hoped for.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Reach me here :
> 
> @toziersspaghettihead on tumblr
> 
> @kellsdoesart on pinterest
> 
> @kells-does-art on Instagram
> 
> @kells-does-art on Ko-fi
> 
> @_Eds_tozier_ on Instagram
> 
> @kells_does_art_ Red bubble!
> 
> Thanks guys! come talk to me! lets be pals!
> 
> ~kellie <3


	4. I'm an instagator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were all meant for eachother, He knew it in his bones that without one another they would be lost- Floating in the world like driftwood in the ocean, Never truly finding a place where they belong.
> 
> -But they found each other, They found the people they were meant to be with, Even if it was always platonic, The losers’, Well- They were soulmates.. At Least that's what Ben had called it and Richie couldn’t help but agree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo friends!
> 
> My sleeping meds are kicking in so this isnt going to be a long intro, but I hope you all like it! You're all great for leaving these comments and I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

The trees were swaying above them, and the brisk air and it filled Richie with a sense of freedom he had never exactly felt before. Eddie was on Bill’s back- Because of course he was. Eddie had always been enamoured with Bill. 

“Their Big Strong leader.” 

Richie didn’t scoff verbally, but inside- His whole body was shaking with jealousy- Like who the fuck gave him the right to be holding Eddie so tight? Who gave him the right to be so close to Eddie? To hold him and protect him in the way only a lover should.

This time- Outwardly, Richie shook his head, In a feeble attempt to get those thoughts out of his head. Eddie wasn’t his- He didn’t own him, and he’d never dream of owning someone- Giving them no choice.

Eddie was the strongest and most independent person he had ever met in his entire life. Except he wasn’t independant. He leant on Richie like he was his life line, When his mother would slap him, or beat him senseless because he wanted to leave..Or because he insisted he wasn’t sick and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

The smaller boy was right of course, there was absolutely nothing wrong with him except that he still looked up to Bill like they were ten years old and Bill rescued him after he fell out of a tree- Richie would have been the one to do it, only he was stuck inside that day for taking Eddie out for ice cream without asking sonia- His mother had gotten an earful from the other woman and subsequently had to ground Richie so she could get Sonia Kaspbrak off her back.

  
Yet- Even though Bill Denbrough had saved him that day, Eddie still came running to Richie. The words were always the same, ‘My mommy hit me again, Rich’.

‘This time was different, I don't think she’ll do it again.’

-But she did, She did it again, and again, And all Richie could do was sneak through the window and take care of him- Listen to him cry, and hold him tight till he fell asleep. He always held him tight- Held him as tight as he possibly could.

It happened so often, That Richie stopped bothering to wait for his landline to ring. Every night at eight pm, He would sneak out from his own window and into Eddie’s, to find it unlocked and ready for him to come in.

He would stay till the first orange beams of sunlight came through Eddie’s window. He untangles himself from his best friend, only to have Eddie hold him tighter in his sleep- Because even unconsciously he knew he wouldn’t feel safe without his best friend to hold him.

The thought of holding Eddie once again was what kept him from running up to Bill and knocking Eddie off of Bill’s back- But he stopped himself because the sight of seeing Eddie so happy warmed his heart just a little more than he knew possible.

“Eds! Make him go faster! Maybe he’ll find something interesting deeper in the woods!” He yelled behind them.

“Richie! Don’t tell me what to do! I can control my own horse.”

_.You could Ride me like a- Richie no, Stop._

He knew that Stan, Bev, and Ben were trailing behind them- His two losers’ bonding with their newest member, Learning about things that none of them had ever even thought of researching. He could hear Ben behind them, explaining vividly of how some people just fit together like puzzle pieces, And he had no doubt in his mind that this whole subject reminded him of the losers’. 

They were all meant for eachother, He knew it in his bones that without one another they would be lost- Floating in the world like driftwood in the ocean, Never truly finding a place where they belong. 

-But they found each other, They found the people they were meant to be with, Even if it was always platonic, The losers’, Well- They were soulmates.. At Least that's what Ben had called it and Richie couldn’t help but agree.

He jogged up to the pair, as quick as he possibly could without tripping over decaying logs and sticks that had probably been laying there for at least two decades.

Richie watched as Bill gently bent down for Eddie to place his feet on the ground, The shorter boy instantly turning to tackle Richie to the ground- Because if he wasn’t with one, He was going to be with the other- Where he felt the safest.

“Eds, You can’t just jump on poor unsuspecting people, y’know?” He commented as he landed on the ground, listening to twigs snap painfully into his back- Not breaking the skin- Just making him completely uncomfortable.

“You were expecting it, Fucking dumbass.” Was the only retort he got from Eddie, and of course an eyeroll.

He spotted the beat up brown boots of Bev by his head and the neat sneakers of Stan, And he knew his three friends had caught up to them.

He listened as he heard Ben crouch down next to Richie with an amused grin, “You having fun there,Richie?”

Richie returned the smile with one of his own- all teeth and giddy, “Anyone with Eds’ on top of them will have fun.” He commented.

Which resulted in his best friend jolting up and rolling off Richie and onto his back, landing on of course fluffy moss, How come the little fucker gets moss and he gets a bunch of twigs in his back?

“You are disgusting as ever, Trashmouth.” Stan commented as he held out a hand for Eddie to grab.

“Bev always laughs at my jokes, So I don’t think I’m that bad.” He mumbles as he sits himself up, looking upwards at Beverly who was looking down at him, Struggling to hold in laughs.

Bill walked up to the rest of them, Resting a shoulder on Eddie- as if he was some fucking arm rest.

“R-Rich, Why do you h-have to be so c-c-crass?” He questioned with an unimpressed look playing upon his face.

“Because I’m me, Dumbass.” 

  
Eddie looked between the both of them, only to step in between the pair with his little scrunched up frowny face. 

“Guys, relax- I think we’re all on edge because its getting dark- Maybe we should head come?” Eddie offered up.

“C’mon, It's not even completely dark yet! And it's not like anything bad is gonna happen, There's nothing in these woods.” Bev points out.

Richie struggles to get up, but eventually succeeds- turning himself so he can hug Beverly tight, In an exaggerated form of gratefulness. 

“Thank you Bev! _**You’re always on my side.**_ ” 

It was mostly unintentional on his part, But the last part of his sentence was a bit twinged with jealousy and irritation. 

He wasn’t sure whether the anger was towards Eddie or Bill, But it was still there, lingering and pissing Richie off every chance it got. It was a demon he couldn’t seem to get rid of, The need of being the only one Eddie loved and looked up to- The only one he ever came to.

-And for some reason, Eddie’s pleas to be held and cuddled, to be tucked in and cared for at night, When they were alone in his room stopped being enough a long time ago. He wanted desperately for everyone in the world to know that Eddie was his- Except of course, Eddie wasn’t his and Eddie didn’t love him.

It took a while for them to find a spot they actually liked, It was an empty patch of woods- Mostly surrounded by large trees, You couldn’t really find the area unless you were looking for it- And the losers’ were looking for anything, So it worked.

The thing that Richie liked about it the most was that there was half a red truck buried under logs and moss, like it was left there to rot and never be seen ever again. 

“Holy fucking shit!” Richie spotted it and couldn’t help the words coming from his mouth as he raced towards the object covered in red paint- Speckled with rust.

“Rich! Do not fucking touch that!” Eddie was yelling as he followed behind him in an attempt to keep him from touching the old thing- But of course Richie wasn’t listening. It was cool as fuck and there was nothing anyone could say that could keep him from getting to look and touch it.

His hand touched it and even though it was littered with vines and rust, he couldn’t help but be in love with this fucking old ass car. 

He heard it before he ever saw it, The barely audible growl that was coming from within the red object. He assumed it was some kind of wounded dog that was terrified of getting hurt again. His heart swelled with the thought of a poor little puppy just trying to keep itself safe.

Except when he peeked his head inside, there wasn’t a tiny little golden retriever whimpering and crying like he assumed it would be. It was some sort of rabid animal, and the growling wasn’t exactly quiet like it was before.

It was low and terrifying and if Richie was maybe a quick runner he would’ve been able to run away- But he was stuck in place, petrified with the thought of getting bitten by some rabid dog.

-But it wasn’t a rabid dog, Was it? 

Its large black fur was standing up on its back, its teeth bared and mouth foaming as if it was about to be attacked by something much longer than a gangly teenager. 

He felt Eddie’s hands on his bicep trying to pull him away, But he just couldn’t, He couldn’t leave that spot. He was looking into those deep red eyes and he wasn’t exactly sure what was there- What thoughts were going off in that creatures-No wolf’s- Brain.

The next thing he knew though, He was being pulled away, and he was running back towards town, With the rest of the losers in toe- Eddie pulling him along and running as fast as his little legs would take him.

He once again heard the crunching of leaves and twigs under him, But it wasn’t from his feet- These sounds were hard and loud and it dawned on him they were most definitely being chased by a large ass wolf.

The trees and logs, basically all of his surroundings were a blurry mess- He knew he had his glasses on, But it was like everything was out of focus, Like the world was spinning. He felt his knees hit the ground before his face did, and he heard the crack of his glasses.

His brain was registering screaming all around him, and he could feel the warmth of..Something? On his leg- He could hear his name being yelled, undoubtebly from Eddie as his arm was tugged. 

-But then the tugging stopped, and there were other screams- But Richie couldn’t see them, He had no idea where his friends were- Where the fuck Eddie was- But he knew something was bad and if he could move around he’d be searching for all of them, Picking them up- Picking Eddie up, and getting out of there and running as fast as he fucking could.

He couldn’t run though, He was in pain- So much pain. Where did it even come from? He had absolutely no idea. What he did know, is the blurr of brown hair next to him, and the flash of tanned skin falling onto the ground.

He knew that was Eddie- That was his best friend, and he wasn’t screaming anymore, He was silent. He heard Bev though, and He heard Ben crying and trying to help her, Only for his own screams to come. 

He heard nothing from Bill, He knew that if Bill was scared enough, He couldn’t make out a single sentence- But Stan, He knew Stan was there, Because he was yelling Bill’s name, He could hear the faint voice of ‘Bill! We have to go! We need help! They need fucking-’

What did they- 

What did they need?

He couldn’t remember, He couldn’t remember what was going on or why he felt fire throughout his veins or even why it felt like his whole body was engulfed in lava. 

What he did know, was that all his friends were there- Somewhere in that forrest, His friends were laying near him- They were alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Find me on
> 
> Tumblr: Toziersspaghettihead  
> Ko-fi: kells-does-art  
> Redbubble: Kells-does-art


	5. Against everything we fuckin' know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He saw the large smile from his friend and it was returned by Richie just as enthusiastically- It was weird, But other than the fear he had for Eddie, He felt good, Like really fucking good. He had no idea where this new energy came from.
> 
> Maybe it was the adrenaline of almost dying? Maybe it was the excitement of knowing all his friends were okay- But when he saw Stan and how happy and healthy he looked, He couldn’t help but share the glee- Because he knew that all his friends felt it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long-Ish Chapter? I promise im getting better with them!
> 
> I hope you all are staying safe and doing well!
> 
> Pls enjoy!
> 
> ~kellie

It hurt, It burned- It fucking felt like his whole brain was melting into liquid and spilling out of his ears. He felt the groans bubble through his chest and out of his mouth before he even heard them.

He grasped at the moss, the twigs and basically anything else on the ground to help himself sit up. Richie looked at his surroundings noticing the trees, the way the leaves were swaying and just how clear the world actually was.

His head turned to the side just a little, and he was able to catch so many things. The scent of every animal that had passed through the clearing in the last week. If it was about any other day, He would have to squint to see nearly as clear as right now, Even with his-

Wait..Wait- He didn’t have his glasses? He couldn’t feel them on his face- He didn’t feel the usual weight of it resting on his nose.

That didn’t matter though, Nothing else mattered, because the flash of soft brown hair he had seen before was still in the corner of his eyes and he could see the freckled skin of wait- Who was it? They were important- He knew that.

It came back to him in flashes, The beautiful smile- The grumpy face that was given to him with every crappy joke, The muffled laughs he would get when they hugged and Richie tried desperately to break tension- The tension they always had.

He remembers running his fingers through that hair at night, He remembers holding him tight and keeping him as safe as he possibly could, Holding his lover- Wait no, They aren’t lovers. That person doesn’t love him, Not the way they should.

It hurt, It burned, It burned worse than the searing pain in his head, and the quickly drying wound in his leg that he only now detected was healing. The hurt that he felt- He had never felt this rejected before, But at the same time- His heart was being tugged towards him. 

Richie felt the other boy’s pain almost immediately and it was heart wrenching. The small boy’s pain was much worse than Richie’s own, It was as if every muscle, bone and every fiber of his being was changing.

-No, Not physically of course, It was different..It was something so much different than the boy that he knew, But he was also completely the same. Except there were fat tears streaming down his face, Even in his unconscious state.

This small, beautiful, firey boy- Was Eddie, The love of his life, The only person meant for him. As if they were two puzzle pieces that when put together made the perfect picture. 

-But that didn’t matter, at least not right now, Because his best friend was crying, and he was bleeding. His best friend who meant more to him than anyone else in the world was in so much immense pain that even Richie could feel it.

He didn’t register himself crawling over to Eddie, until the small boy was in his arms again. Richie’s hands immediately carding through the soft locks of his hair, As if the soothing motion would make him feel instantly better. 

Richie knew it wouldn’t, But he tried anyway- He held him as tight as he could. The pain, it was getting so much more intense, Even more than he felt when Eddie was crying..It was so much- Too many people, Too many emotions and sorrow- Too much pain.

His eyelids, They were too heavy, His arms holding onto Eddie as much as possible, Before once again his back was hitting the ground, Even as he held his boy just as tight. They were laying there together, And Richie could register people calling out saying words like- ‘We found them.’ and ‘Holy fuck.’ 

He wasn’t sure who was talking, Or if it was even real- All he really knew was that it was really fucking hurting his head.

The lights were different this time, It was brighter- More cleanly, It wasn’t the sunshine and the bliss of the outdoors that he felt even while he was in agony- But he wasn’t in agony anymore, In fact he felt calm, He felt warm and fuzzy and if he knew any better he’d think it was a fever dream. 

-But last time he checked, he didn’t have a fever- He just felt sick.

So okay, He’s in a hospital- He can feel the tightness of skin under tape, An IV stuck in his arm which made him a little woozy just thinking of the needle inside of his body. 

Needles.

Hospitals.

Fuck.

That's when his brain actually started working together, and all he heard was **_EddieEddieEddieEddie_** \- Because fuck, Eddie hated hospitals- And if Eddie was in a hospital, His mother was there smothering him while he was in excruciating pain.

He’s sitting up before he knows it and he feels the pain of the IV tugging in his arm as he tries to move. His brain is still consumed with thoughts of Eddie, but then it dawns on him- And fuck it should’ve dawned on him hours- Days? Ago. 

The rest of the losers’ were there too, So where the fuck were they? Are they alive? Are they even okay? 

Even though he had the nagging urge to go looking for the rest of them, To _protect_ them, To make sure they were all breathing- And he had the knowledge that they were. Somehow, Some way he knew they were all okay, They were moving and breathing and walking around.

Eddie though- He wasn’t, He wasn’t okay. Richie could feel that, He could feel like panic in his best friend. Maybe it was because he knew Eddie so well? Maybe it was because they were ‘made for eachother’ Like Ben had said. 

He had no idea, Once again.

What he did know was that he needed to get to him as quickly as he could. 

Hands were resting on his shoulders, pushing him back down onto his bed- No not his, The hospital bed- This bed didn’t smell like him, It didn’t smell like chips, or pot- Definitely didn’t smell like Eddie, Which his bed usually did- Because Eddie would come over most days and take a nap in his room.

His eyes zeroed in on his dad, Went giving him a soft smile as he tucked Richie back in under the covers, Even pushing them back under him- in a feble attempt to make him comfortable. 

No, He wouldn’t be comfortable, Not until he was back with Eddie- To check on his best friend, To make sure he was safe.

.Eddie wasn’t safe.

“Easy now, Son.” His father spoke in a hushed tone.

“Went, You could at least let him move around..It's been three days.” He heard his mother’s voice before he ever saw her. 

“Well, You’re the fucking nurse, I guess you know better.” 

The odd thing about that sentence, was that his father never spoke like that to anyone. Wentworth Tozer was a gentle man. Much more gentle than anyone in Derry, Other than his mother.

If it was any other day, Richie thinks- Any other day, He would’ve flinched at his father’s rough tone- But nothing came from him, He was as rigid as a statue in rome. He didn’t even speak, He knew his parent’s were expecting something from him. Some sort of explanation, or even just a word. 

He had nothing for them, Not right now- He couldn’t think. 

His brain was filled with guilt and pain.

How could he let this happen to his friends? His family? His pa-

Just how could he have not seen this coming? He’s always three or five steps ahead of people. Three days ago, He wasn’t. He was too consumed with jealousy and anxiety to pay attention to the world around him.

As much of a jokester as Richie was, He paid much more attention to the world than anyone else ever thought. He observed others, Their actions- Reactions, Everything about another person he would try to understand.

-Because people were puzzles and he wanted to understand them all, Not put them together and fix them, He just wanted to see the picture on his own.

He had a word now. 

He had a single word on his tongue.

“Eddie.” It was raspy as it fell out of his mouth, And he's pretty sure it was barely audible, But other than the crackling and vibrating of the hospital room tv, that was the only noise heard.

Maggie was up and walking towards his bedside in a split second, taking his hand in her own soft ones. 

“Baby, You’re not allowed to see Eddie, His mom- Sonia, She said no visitors.” He voice was filled with remorse.

Of course Richie knew Sonia would blame him, But he didn’t expect Eddie to have no visitors. That meant Eddie was isolated from the whole world. He would have no one to talk to- This poor boy was alone. His boy was alone, With the one person who made him hate everyone and himself. The only person in the world who tortured him mentally and physically.

The thought was one of the very few things that terrified Richie.

“ ‘Gotta see ‘em, ma.” Words were falling out easier now, Making pleads and demands, As if telling his mother that he needed to see Eddie would do anything. Maggie had no power over Sonia, No matter how hard she had tried to bargain and befriend her over the years- None of it had worked.

Went was coming up on the other side of his bed, His face looking worried and tired- Just like his mother’s own did. 

“Rich, You can see the rest of your friends..Just not Eddie, Bud.” 

He was using that soft tone again, The one he used so often when he was a child and he was trying to make Richie understand something that he just didn’t want to know.

  
Richie did eventually decide to see a friend, And as much as he loved the rest of the losers’, He had to see Stan first. Stan was his oldest friend, and if he owed him anything- He owed it to him to see him first.

The wooden door opened quietly- Richie scanning the room with his ‘new’ glasses that he didn’t exactly need..Maybe it was the bump on his head, He had no idea. 

The room was filled with darkness, and he could make out the lump on the bed anyway- His vision must have really fucking improved, Because..Damn. 

“Staniel? It's me.” His own voice came out shakey, Much more than he thought it would.

He watched the lump move, and knowing better of it, He still turned the light on to see his face. 

Richie was surprised to see that Stan looked well- Healthy, He looked good, Really fucking good- Better than he did before. 

His hair just had a bit more of a gold tint, and his cheeks just had a bit more of a flush to them.

“Jesus, Stan the man- Looking good for someone who was attacked in the woods.” 

He saw the large smile from his friend and it was returned by Richie just as enthusiastically- It was weird, But other than the fear he had for Eddie, He felt good, Like really fucking good. He had no idea where this new energy came from.

Maybe it was the adrenaline of almost dying? Maybe it was the excitement of knowing all his friends were okay- But when he saw Stan and how happy and healthy he looked, He couldn’t help but share the glee- Because he knew that all his friends felt it too.

Yeah, They may have been in excruciating pain three days ago, But today and right now, They were on top of the fucking world, And Richie Tozier loved it.

The only thing Richie Tozier loved as much as the feeling of freedom and security was Eddie Kaspbrak, And he needed to save that boy, He needed it more than anything else in the world.

He sat himself beside Stan on the Edge of the bed, “We need to talk ‘bout Eds.”

Stan gave him a knowing look, One that was filled with understanding- And yet a fire he had never seen before, Some sort of anger that wasn’t diluted in irritation.

Stan Uris was just as pissed as he was.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> You can find me here :
> 
> Toziersspaghettihead; tumblr
> 
> kells-does-art ; ko-fi
> 
> kells-does-art; pinterest
> 
> kells-does-art; blogger (COME SUBSCRIBE TO MY BLOG AND TALK TO ME BBIES <3)
> 
> -Kellie


	6. Casts, bites, and parents- Oh my!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Bev- We can’t freak out right now.” His hands were up in defence, Even though he knew Bev would never come at him, She was in this feral sort of state- As if she had entered mother bear mode.
> 
> Her face furrowed down into a frown, “I'm sorry, Rich- I’m just worried ‘bout him.” She whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 3k of a chapter!! I'm screaming!!!! I hope you all enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> Also, I really need some help, So if any of you want writing or art commissions please hit me up on Ko-Fi
> 
> @Kells-does-art
> 
> Love,Kellie

  
“What the fuck do you mean his mom wont let any of you in his room?” 

Bev’s voice was fueled with fire- Her face almost as red as her hair, Her hands were clamping the ends of Stan’s bed. Her eyes, the blue of them shining brighter than he had ever seen them, and in a way it was almost like they were glowing in the dim light of the small room.

Richie stood up from where he was leaning against the wall, His foot pushing from the spot and taking the room in strides, pushing himself between Beverly and Stan. 

“Bev- We can’t freak out right now.” His hands were up in defence, Even though he knew Bev would never come at him, She was in this feral sort of state- As if she had entered mother bear mode.

Her face furrowed down into a frown, “I'm sorry, Rich- I’m just worried ‘bout him.” She whispered.

It was odd, Really fucking odd- Bev, She backed down- Like quick, It was less of a fight than usual, He wasn’t telling her no, He wasn’t telling her to stop fighting for Eddie- He could never tell anyone to stop fighting for that boy.

That sweet, gentle boy- He needed to be fought for, He needed people right now. He needed more than just Richie at this moment, He needed all the losers’. Richie couldn’t give him everything right now- He couldn’t give Eddie a family or a home, He really couldn’t give Eddie anything other than two arms to hold him.

“G-guys, You can’t talk about Eddie like he’s some damsel, He c-c-an handle huh-himself.” Bill spoke from the corner of the room- Sitting in the only available chair, He looked healthier too..He didn’t really look different though, He looked brave and stoic, Like he always was.

The look that Richie absolutely hated- He hated that look because it reminded Richie of everything he wasn’t. Richie was never the stoic type, Or the one to lead people, But he was a savior, He knew that. He saved Eddie everytime he snuck through the smaller boy’s window, He saved him every time he skipped out on class to make sure Eddie wasn’t panicking in the bathroom.

In many ways, Eddie Kaspbrak was a damsel in distress- The boy was stuck in a hospital room, Guarded by a dragon named Sonia, The fucking ugliest and massive dragon that Richie’s ever seen. Yeah, He may joke about having sex with Eddie’s mom in every other sentence- But he hated that bitch more than he hated greenbeans.

“Billiam, Shut the fuck up for once- Eddie isn’t a damsel, He’s not- But hes fucking stuck in that room with his mother and we need to see if he’s okay.” Richie’s voice was calm, deadly calm.

He had never known this kind of certainty. For years he had known beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved Eddie, and that Eddie was the only one for him- He’s said it to himself a million times. The certainty of this was different though, This was the type of knowing that he only had in math class- The knowing that this specific thing was an answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.

When he was in math, He got the problem, and solved it- Just like people, and just like puzzles. This knowing that he had, He knew that Eddie wasn’t safe, and Eddie needed *their* help.

As much as it killed him to know that he wasn’t the only person Eddie needed right now, and that he couldn’t fix this- He knew that Eddie would be fine once they were all together, Once they were all safe- As a family- As a- As a what? He wasn’t sure.

“Guys, Maybe we should just, I dunno’ let his mom take care of him.” Ben spoke out gently.

Different versions of ‘no’ were shouted simultaneously as all the losers’ shot up in their individual places to physically stop the thought and words coming from Ben’s mouth.

“Look, Ben- You’ve almost died with us, You’re a bonafide Loser, but you know nothing about Eddie’s relationship with his mom, She’s fucking crazy.” 

.She’s crazy.

Sonia Kaspbrak is fucking crazy.

-And she was alone in a tiny hospital room with Eddie, The five of them had absolutely no idea how to get him out of that room, Or how to get Sonia out long enough for one of them (Richie) to talk to him and check in.

Richie’s skin was itching, It was on fire again- It was as if every atom in his body was screaming to see Eddie. To talk to him, Hold him, Pet his hair, To do anything possible to be close to him and keep him safe.

_Safe?_

Yes, He knew his mother was crazy, and he knew Sonia had been physical with Eddie- But his urge to protect the smaller boy had never been as strong as it was right now. He knew it came from deep down in his guts, It wrenched his heart and flamed through his veins.

Why? Why was it like this now? He had absolutely no idea- But it felt so natural, Like he was always meant to be guarding Eddie, Like he was meant to take care of him. 

If his best friend was here, He’d be yelling that he didn’t need to be taken care of. He’d call Richie an asshole or really any other name in the book.

“She..Hasn’t like _hit him_..? Right?” The question hung in the air, Heavy as shit.

For everyone, they had no clue- Just like Richie’s usual answer, But Richie did, He knew. He had the very mortifying knowledge that Sonia laid her hands on her son all the time. That he’s been slapped and then smothered, He's been manipulated a thousand times over.

“Uh, No- I don’t think so.” Stan was the first to speak, Even his own answer was hesitant.

Richie sat himself back down next to Stan, Still effectively shielding Stan from Beverly. He knew that she wouldn’t lunge or hurt anyone, But he still felt the need to keep Stan safe- His oldest friend, His greatest confidant.

“Guys, Maybe one of us should distract? And then the others go in?” Richie was quick to change the subject.

He had sworn to Eddie that he wouldn’t tell his secret, and he’d rather die than betray his best friend. He couldn’t even imagine feeling betrayed by Eddie, The way that Richie would betray him if he spilled the beans on this one.

“O-Okay, I t-think, I should b-b-e the one to go s-see Ed-die.” 

It was like the room was still, Even the air froze at that moment. 

The fuck was Bill getting to see Eddie before he did. Richie would rather rip Bill’s throat out with his teeth than see Bill go through those doors to see *his* best friend.

_**-Wait, Ripping throats?** _

He is most definitely not that fucking savage, Maybe he’d deck him- If he was really that fucking pissed- But he was, Or at least a part of him was- He had this urge, This feeling that Bill needed to be put in his place- And fast.

-Because once again, Who was Bill to think he could take better care of Eddie than Richie could? Bill didn’t own any of them, He doesn't, He has absolutely no power over him or Eddie.

It's not like Richie had power over Eddie either, and he wouldn’t want to- But he does want to be the one to see him first.

Richie crossed his arms on his chest, In a stance against the protectiveness of ‘Big Bill’.

“Nah, As Eds’ is my best friend, I think I should see him first.” His voice came out a little more stern than he was expecting.

By no means has he ever backed down from Bill, But he always showed a certain amount of respect for the other boy. He always knew when to leave it and when he couldn’t push anymore. Apparently things were different with him now, Because Bill didn’t know when to stop fucking pushing him and it was pissing him off.

Which is a little weird? Because yeah, He always clashed with Bill when it came to Eddie- But he was never this aggressive towards Bill. He resented him, of course- For everything that he’s done for Eddie that Richie couldn’t- But Bill was still one of his best friends, and he had no idea where this new need to take charge came from.

It wasn’t even frightening, It was fucking great- He felt this..This new energy, This surge of authority in himself that he had never had or even felt before. It was a form of power that was completely new to him and he wasn’t sure how to handle it- But he was pretty sure he was doing just fine.

“Bill, I do agree with Richie honestly-” Stan paused for a moment, and they all watched him- He was calculating the right words to say.

“Richie and Eddie are closer than all of us combined- I think It should be him.” His voice was stern as well, Like he knew this without a shadow of a doubt.

Bev was the one who finished the plan to _‘Rescue’_ Eddie. 

Well- They really weren’t rescuing him at all, They were just buying a little time to make sure he was okay- Physically and mentally. 

Richie knew how things were with Eddie- Give his mother five minutes and she’s got him wrapped around her finger again. It took at least thirty minutes for Eddie to calm down enough to figure out how she twisted his brain and to untwist it and flatten it out like a bed sheet. 

His fingers grasped the door handle, holding it like a vice- His knuckles white as his thoughts ran rapidly around his brain. They bounced around his skull like pong and he had no idea what to do with them except push them down- Push the thoughts so far down that he had none left at all.

**_‘What if he blames you?’_ **

**_‘What if he doesn’t want to see you?’_ **

**_‘What if he wishes you were Bill?’_ **

Richie opened the door gently, Knowing that his anger and jealousy wouldn’t do him any good in this situation. Eddie has spent his entire life being surrounded by anger and violence his whole life- He didn’t need it from Richie.

He peeked through the door, only opening it a little bit- Attempting to give Eddie enough privacy and time to shut him down and tell him to leave.

“Richie Tozier, You are dead fucking meat.” 

The voice came out much softer than the angry words being spat at him- But they really weren’t being spat, Eddie had this small little smile on his face- Yes Eddie was pissed and Richie could definitely tell.

-But he knew, He knew more than anything that Eddie was just happy to have someone there with him.

“Spaghetti! Well, I had no idea you saw me as just a piece of meat.” He winked as he walked in, shutting the door slowly and attempting to make it as quiet as possible.

Eddie, He looked terrible- Worse than he had ever seen him. The smaller boy looked worse than when they had both caught the sniffles on the same weekend when they were eight. Of course, Richie couldn’t leave him all alone for three days with his mom, Especially when he was so sick. 

Richie had snuck in- At the time just using the Kaspbrak’s back door and tiptoed all the way to Eddies room. The taller boy had snuggled him close, But hey! They were both sick already, It couldn’t get worse.

-But it got worse, Because Eddie did in fact have asthma and he couldn’t breathe very well.

That was the very first time Richie Tozier was terrified Eddie might die, It wasn’t the only time but right now might just be the last time. 

The pang in his heart as he looked at Eddie, It was painful, It was like his whole body was aching. Not with the same longing that he usually had for him- It was the type of pain that you only felt when your other half was in danger- Or what he assumed was his other half? Because there was only ever one person he was that worried about.

“You look like shit.” Richie spoke blatantly as he sat beside Eddie on the hospital bed.

“So do you, Trashmouth- And I can’t fucking believe you brought me into the barrens! Just for us to almost die!” 

Eddie only had one arm flailing- The other in a cast- A flash back to seventh grade when Eddie had an identical cast on the same arm. It was there once again, and Eddie had the same panicked expression that was on his face that day- When they had tried to explore somewhere other than the thrift store- They had gone to an old rickety house on neibolt street.

Eddie, Ever the scaredy cat had begged Richie to at least hold his hand while they walked up the stairs. However, at the time Richie was so excited to be in such a new place he didn’t even hear a word coming out of Eddie’s mouth until it was too late and his name was falling from Eddie’s lips as he himself fell as the floor collapsed under him.

Richie ignored Eddie’s rant, Mostly for his own sanity and once again glanced down at the cast.

“Your arm?” He questioned.

Eddie made a little _‘pft’_ noise and sat himself up a little bit, pushing himself up on his one useful arm.

“Yeah- The uh- The bone was snapped when I got bit by that mutt.” He shrugged.

Richie placed a finger on the white fabric, dragging it across the length of it. It wasn’t soft, or beautiful, But Richie knew he could make it one of those things. 

Along with a bunch of shit his parents had brought him from home, Was a sharpie. Richie had a habit to draw on things that really shouldn’t be covered in ink. 

Such as, but not exclusive to- Walls, guitars, movies, comics, and bathroom stalls.

The older boy was wise enough to bring it with him, Originally he was just going to draw a mustache on Eddie’s arm or palm- But this was much better. 

“ ‘Could use some art? Dontcha’ think?” 

“Your art consists of dicks and nirvana symbols.” Eddie scoffs.

“Not true, I doodle your name in my notebook every day in class.” Richie gave him an exaggerated wink.

Eddie returned the look with a much more exaggerated blush blooming across his face- Odd, But not unwelcomed in Richie’s opinion.

“What’re you even doing here, Richie? My mom went out to get coffee..She’ll be back any minute.” 

The last part was tinged with fear, and Richie wanted nothing more than to take that fear away and replace that feeling with love and comfort. Something that he knew was severely lacking in Eddie’s life.

No matter how many losers’ were in their group, Or how much love the five of them gave him..It wouldn’t be enough. He wouldn’t feel the love of parents coddling him or the tight hugs they give when they're proud.

Sonia was never proud.

  
“She’ll be a while, Eds’- The losers’ got you covered.” 

_They’ll always have his back._

_Richie has his back, **Always.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! find me here!
> 
> @toziersspaghettihead ; tumblr  
> @Eds_Tozier_ Instagram / Kells-does-art Instagram  
> @kells-does-art pinterest & Ko-fi
> 
> Hope you liked it! Comments and kudos appreciated!


	7. Sing a Song, For all of us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knew, He knew more than anyone that all the parents cared, They cared in a way that Sonia Kaspbrak never could. Sonia had no idea how to properly care for a kid, Let alone someone as sweet and gentle as Eddie.
> 
> Eddie didn’t deserve the shit he was put through- And Richie wanted nothing more than to keep Eddie safe from that god awful woman. He wanted Eddie to have the life he so desperately deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for your sweet comments! I love them all and Im gonna get back to you as soon as I possibly can. 
> 
> I love you guys!

The laughter in the room was louder than either of them were expecting it to be. Even though they knew they should be quiet, they just couldn't. Richie was on an absolute roll today. The older boy could tell that Eddie was in immense pain and he watched Eddie try his best to hide it. 

The thought that Eddie wanted to keep something from him did sting- But not as much as the jab in his heart at the pain that he knew Eddie was in. 

Richie leant forward only a bit, making their eyes meet in an honest glance-His lips curling upwards into a smile as he watched the way Eddie’s own eyes darted away, to look anywhere than into Richie’s eyes.

“You look tired, Eds.” 

Eddie shook his head gently, “Not enough to sleep- I’m just, I dunno- Uncomfortable.” 

Richie is then the one making an uncomfortable noise, As if he was the one in pain- Because in many ways, He was. Eddie was hurting physically and mentally- His brain was like mush right now, And Richie could only tell because of the lack of witty comments coming out of his best friend's mouth.

He placed both his hands on the other side of Eddie, Muffing the blankets just a little bit, Richie moved himself over to lay down on his side, draping an arm over the boy’s smaller frame. He was still making his best attempt to not injure Eddie further. 

Richie may be lanky and tall, But he also had more muscle on his bones than Eddie did. The smaller boy could never put on the weight that muscles gave him and he was still as skinny as he had been a few years ago when they had started middle school. 

Of course Eddie had grown a lot since then, His hips had flared out- Only a little- Giving him the slightest feminine curve, He was only a couple inches taller than he was when they were twelve, He remained in the five foot area- Where as Richie was almost seven foot already.

“I know you’re in pain, I’m sorry- Spaghetti.” Richie’s voice leaked with sympathy.

Eddie moved into Richie’s embrace- Only by a few inches, His body moulding into Richie’s.

“It's really not your fault, You couldn’t have seen that wolf come at us.” Eddie whispered.

.You couldn’t have seen that wolf.

-But he did, Richie had seen that wolf, He had heard it before anyone else had. At the time he had thought it was a wounded animal, Even hoped he might be able to take care of a little wounded puppy. In the end it obviously wasn’t a little puppy crying from injury, It was some rabid animal that wanted to rip them apart limb from limb.

How was Richie supposed to tell his best friend that he did see the animal? How was he supposed to tell Eddie that he had locked eyes with that rabid beast and didn’t tell him to run? 

-The truth was, Richie was frozen in place- He had no idea what to do, The older boy was transfixed on the wolf’s eyes. The sheer glow of them, the red that resembled the blood he knew had dripped from his leg that day. Richie had bee akin to stone in that moment, He hadn’t been able to warn any of his friends, let alone Eddie, and now here they all were In the fucking hospsital.

“Y’know I saw him right..? I thought it was a puppy, Like ones you see that fall in the sewers.” Richie paused, hugging Eddie just a little tighter, “You got hurt- They got hurt, and it was my fault.” 

Eddie shook his head, really just a small jerking movement before his voice was being muffled in Richie’s cotton shirt. 

“You just wanted to help a puppy- You didn’t know.” 

Eddie was so insistent on it not being Richie’s fault, It was so unlike the smaller boy. Usually Richie was the one getting blamed for the smallest things that went wrong in his Eddie Spaghetti’s life. 

‘Rich! You got mud on my fucking shoes!’

‘Richard Fucking Tozier! Come back here and give me my lunch!’

Yeah, Richie Tozier was responsible for a lot of things that went wrong in Eddie’s life. Ever since they were little Richie had developed the type of pigtail pulling crush on his best friend- Continuously doing that act metaphorically, Replacing pigtails for lunches and socks, Chasing him with worms just like any other boy would do for a girl.

Eddie not blaming him for this was such a rare thing. One of the things that he had always loved was their banter. However, He loved the thought of Eddie seeing him as the person that he couldn’t blame. For the first time in forever, Eddie saw it as not being Richie’s fault.

Richie nodded a little bit, pressing a soft kiss to Eddie’s head- Something he would never do unless they were held up in Eddie’s room in the late hours of the night.

He heard a small whimper come from below him and he watched as Eddie’s face scrunched up in pain, moving himself a little to adjust in his uncomfortable state.

Richie looked down at his best friend with concerned eyes, “You okay there, Spaghetti man?”

Eddie looked towards him, as if he was a deer caught in the headlights, “Yeah-I’m good but you should get up, You might get blood on your clothes.”

.Internal Bleeding.

Or those were the words that had come out of Sonia’s mouth the second she rammed through the locked door. Apparently Eddie’s heart monitor didn’t handle the sight of blood very well, Because his best friend was struggling to breathe, and he was looking everywhere for it until his arms stopped moving and he was just making these loud wailing noises, as if once again he was punched in the gut, or bitten on the arm.

“Richard Tozier! You aren’t supposed to be here!” Her shrill voice was bellowing around the room and out of the hall, But she wasn’t even thinking about shooing him out anymore, because the minute she had put a hand on Richie to move him out of the room, Eddie was actually screaming. 

It was different from the wailing that was still ringing in his ears, It was the type of scream you heard when the most important thing in the world to you was being taken away- And as if he was getting worse, The second Richie’s foot stepped out of the room, Eddie’s heart spiked and Richie was so terrified of the repercussions it became ‘Sonia be damned’ and he was right there next to Eddie’s side as he cried.

Richie wasn’t completely sure what was wrong with Eddie, What he was sure of though, Was the blooming bruising he could see under the surface of Eddie’s skin- He was also sure he could see blood at the end of Eddie’s bed, and he knew where it was coming from- He knew Eddie was really bleeding and it looked extremely bad.

This time Richie wasn’t frozen in fear, not at all- He was holding onto Eddie’s hand and with the other he was very much holding an obese Sonia Kaspbrak back from her son. He was pretty sure the bitch would fucking suffocate him with a pillow before he got out of this hospital and he wasn’t letting it happen while he was in the room.

He felt the weight of her lift off his other arm within a few seconds. He spared only a quick glance to see the rest of his friends behind him, Bev and Bill standing in front of her blocking her view of Eddie, and Ben with Stan attempting to explain the situation to one of the nurses who seemed to be insisting the five of them leave the room.

Apparently, The medication they had been dosing Eddie with to practically tranqualize him wasn’t working and he should have been out like a light hours ago- In little to no pain. These doctors were fuckin’ dipshits in Richie’s opinion.

Maybe it was because Eddie was getting a fuck ton of medication on the daily and was always ‘Sick’. Maybe.

Richie’s face felt like it was in a permanent frown as he attempted to hold Eddie down onto the bed. He was doing his best to keep Eddie from hurting himself further- But it seemed now that Richie was at his side he was calming quicker than he would have before.

“Eds’, Ya gotta breathe for me okay?”

Eddie wasn’t really breathing; it was more like a whine mixed with a pant. His best friend gave him a short nod as he attempted to take deep breaths through his mouth. He still looked extremely uncomfortable, and from what Richie could tell he was still bleeding- Just not as rapidly as before.

The Losers’ were all surrounding the bed now, watching with wild eyes as they looked back and forth from Eddie to Richie. Both of the boys were still crying- Richie hadn’t even noticed the tears streaming down his own face until he had seen drops fall onto Eddie’s pillow.

“Richie- Maybe you're the one who needs to breathe.” Beverly’s voice came soft and comforting as she rounded the bed to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m breathing, I’m just worried about Eds.” He sighed out softly.

The four of them nodded along, Bill less than the other three. 

“W-uh-what happened, E-eddie?” Bill stammered.

Eddie scrunched his face, rolling back onto his side, flinching away from his friends and curling into Richie’s arm- “Just- Pain.” 

The two words slipping from Eddie’s mouth made him feel riddled with guilt once again.

Somehow, Some way, Eddie was bleeding internally- Even if it was from a fall- Eddie was hurting, He was in so much pain and Richie had no idea how to help him. Once again the best he could do was give him physical touch.

Stan walked over to the adjacent side of Eddie’s bed and reached out to rub Eddies back. The smaller boy didn’t flinch away from the touch, He accepted it gratefully and they all watched as his heart rate slowed down.

“We all have to go back soon.” Ben whispered, although the words were bouncing around their heads in different ways- they all felt the pangs in their hearts of being seperated once again.

Richie could tell Ben still felt like an outsider, He looked over to see that Ben was nowhere near the five of them- Ben wasn’t an outsider anymore, He stopped being an outsider when Richie followed him home- When they saved him from those college kids.

“Ah yes, Back to the hospital rooms- To be guarded by parents.” Richie mocked happiness.

“Richie..They’re just concerned.” 

He heard the voice from below him and Richie gave a soft smile- “I know Eds.”

He knew, He knew more than anyone that all the parents cared, They cared in a way that Sonia Kaspbrak never could. Sonia had no idea how to properly care for a kid, Let alone someone as sweet and gentle as Eddie.

Eddie didn’t deserve the shit he was put through- And Richie wanted nothing more than to keep Eddie safe from that god awful woman. He wanted Eddie to have the life he so desperately deserved.

The life that he would one day get.

Richie would make sure his best friend got the life that he deserved, One way or another Eddie Kaspbrak would be able to have a happy home, Even if it were just his friends who lived there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Reach me at 
> 
> @toziersspaghettihead on tumblr


	8. Im in love, Im all shook up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things weren’t getting better for Eddie, and Richie could only do so much. It had been two days and Richie was barely able to leave Eddie's room. If it was up to Richie, He would’ve moved into the room if people would fucking let him, But of course nurses were cunts and they wouldn’t let him spend all his hours in Eddie’s hospital room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLUR, I have supplied a new chapter.

_**T**_ hings weren’t getting better for Eddie, and Richie could only do so much. It had been two days and Richie was barely able to leave Eddie's room. If it was up to Richie, He would’ve moved into the room if people would fucking let him, But of course nurses were cunts and they wouldn’t let him spend all his hours in Eddie’s hospital room.

After a lot of wailing on Sonia’s end, The nurses let her back into Eddie’s room- With the only condition that she couldn’t rile the poor boy up. Of course Sonia didn’t listen very well, and Every time Richie left the room to use the bathroom or get food- Because he was constantly fucking starving- Richie would end up finding Eddie in tears.

It had gotten to the point where Richie was once again sneaking into Eddie’s room- Except now Eddie was only down the hall. It was pretty easy once Richie understood the shifts and breaks of all the nurses and doctors, And that didn’t take him very long.

Sonia, along with all the other parents were escorted out of the hospital at seven thirty so all the kids could get rest- It was still a large question in all of their heads as to why they were even still in the hospital because they were all but healed, Other than Eddie who still looked like he had been hit by a truck plus the wonderful addition of a high fever.

“Eds you do realize I can barely fit on this fucking bed with you right?” 

Eddie gave a small nod but left his arms open anyway, a silent plea for Richie to hold him tight and finally let him sleep. 

Its as if their roles had become reversed, Of course Richie had always been the one to console Eddie and lay with him till he fell asleep- But things were just a little different now. It was like Eddie couldn’t breathe unless Richie was there next to him. 

It was how Richie had felt for years, And he still felt it in this very moment- But Richie was watching as Eddie was softly nodding off with his face buried in Richie’s neck, Hiding from the world and all the pain in his body.

Eddie had finally stopped bleeding around mid-day yesterday and now he was just sore all over. It was what the doctors had literally called a ‘miracle’ because they had never seen a body heal itself so quickly before.

For Eddie it seemed as if he had never been attacked, other than that horrid fever and pain shooting through his veins- Or at least that's how he had described it to Richie while he was lucid.

Richie indulged himself by just running his fingers through the soft chestnut hair that was oh so close to him.

Eddie looked so peaceful in this state, his breathing so even and the whimpers of pain all but gone. Richie had half a mind to take him from this hospital right that second and bring him somewhere peaceful, Somewhere they could just breathe.

Richie had that feeling, Like everything would be fine if he could just get him out of there, take him to a place they could call home together. The outside world had something about it that Richie couldn’t figure out- It felt different than before.

When the losers’ are allowed out for their ‘Daily Strolls’ they were practically bouncing off the non-existent walls. 

Richie fucking loved it out there, Obviously there were only a few small trees in the garden, Which was a major bummer. However, there were these lilies- They were bright orange with these little black and brown dots.

Ben had told him that they’re tiger lilies, Apparently he had started reading botanical books the summer before he had moved to Derry- He knew about all sorts of flowers, mostly the romantic ones. 

Richie didn’t find the tiger lillies romantic or anything cheesy like that- But they reminded him of fire, the fire that he fueled every time he was with Eddie. The fire in himself and the fire that burned brightly in Eddie were always burning, Mostly at a simmer- But when they were together it exploded into bright orange flames that he could see in the specks of Eddie’s brown eyes.

The curly haired boy had decided the minute he saw the flower, that every day he was here in the hospital, he would bring Eddie one. 

The third flower was laying against Eddie’s swirvy hospital table, Sonia had insisted that Eddie throw the lilly out because of his ‘allergies’ but it didn’t seem to be effecting the small boy at all- And after a major screaming match between Richie and Sonia, the flower had been left unattended and Richie had assumed Eddie had thrown it out to end the fight.

He didn’t.

As Eddie curled into him, Richie could feel himself nodding off- That was until he heard the soft shuffles of slippers against linoleum and the tentative knock on Eddie’s door.

His vision zeroed in on Beverly’s red hair, Her small smile growing as she shuffled her feet into the room and pulled on an empty chair to drag it towards Eddie’s bed.

“You guys sleepin’?” Her question was really empty, because Richie’s eyes were open and fixed on her.

“Nope, Just listening to Spaghetti’s breathing.” He mumbled, hoping his voice was hushed enough to keep from waking the other boy.

He watched as Bev laughed at his blatant words, “More like watching the poor kid sleep.” 

Richie squirmed away from Bev, Only moving himself closer towards Eddie- Hugging him tightly. 

“Shut the fuck up, Marsh.”

  
Beverly fell asleep on that chair, And Richie watched as she woke up with the sunrise. Richie gave her a soft smile of his own, “Good Morning, sunshine.”

“Now you’re the one that needs to shut the fuck up, Being awake this early is disgusting.” She muttered, scratching her head in disdain.

“Shh, You’ll wake the baby.” He joked as he looked downward at his best friend.

He heard it muffled from his shirt, the small voice speaking, ‘I'm not a baby you fuckwit.’

The smile that played on Richie’s face reached his eyes, He hadn’t heard Eddie talk like that in days and hearing that little spike of fire come from Eddie’s voice was enough to make him full on Belly laugh.

The thing about knowing Eddie for the majority of his life was that he knew Eddie better than anyone else in the entire world. He knew when something was bothering him and he knew when he was feeling better, He knew when he was lying and when he was enamoured with a person or object.

When they were about twelve they had gone into the thrift shop and Eddie had found this small gold chain, It must’ve been expensive back in the day, But someone had decided to part with it, And Richie couldn’t resist gathering all the money he had and buying it for his best friend.

The necklace mostly reminded him of the one that Micheal had given to his first wife in godfather part one. He knew the meaning of giving people things like that, He fucking saw the movie, and how happy that girl was when she recieved the gift from the future don. 

Richie knew Eddie would never understand the significance, But he knew Eddie had loved it. He knew Eddie had loved that necklace more than any object he had ever seen. So a week later Richie had returned to the store and bought it himself.

He had gone to Eddie’s room that night and left it on the nightstand for when he woke up. 

It was before Richie had stayed till dawn, He only started that habit a few weeks later- Where he would stay with Eddie all night and sneak home just as day broke.

  
What Richie didn’t know, Was all of Eddie’s secrets- That boy was extremely good at keeping those and it infuriated Richie to no end. Though one secret came out this early morning. Richie watched as Eddie twisted just right in his side and he spotted the glint of gold chain under the hem of his hospital gown.

As he glanced down on it he felt the little pang in his heart that reminded him he could never give Eddie his class ring in three years for him to put the chain through- Because no matter how much of a dick and trashmouth he was, He always found that to be sweet. Sure it was a little possessive, Which he’s noticed hes been a lot lately- But it also showed that he loved him, and that they were more than just close friends.

That damn boy still had it.

He had the necklace, And Richie hadn’t seen that thing in at least three years.

Eddie Kaspbrak was a boy of many secrets, and Richie Tozier finally found out one- And that was really fucking exciting. 

“Bev, Hush the baby- He’s being a dick.” Richie teased, sending a wink Bev’s way.

“Leave Eddie alone! He’s been in so much pain, We should be pampering him.” 

She earned an eye roll from both Eddie and Richie as the smaller boy sat up, moving away from Richie the tiniest bit.

He saw Beverly watch Eddie, as if he was a precious pu-

As if he was a precious child, taking his first steps- As if he was some jewel that needed to be protected, And don’t get Richie wrong, Eddie was the most precious thing in the world but he had no idea why she was looking at him that way.

He knew Beverly meant nothing by him, He knew it was more of a motherly gaze than anything else, but it sparked a possesive fire inside him and he had his arm wrapping back around Eddie in a tight grip- He would never hurt his best friend, But he knew it was tight as fuck.

Beverly raised an eyebrow at his action but said nothing as she herself got up from her seat, pushing it back into the corner- In hopes that no one would notice she spent the night in someone else's room.

Richie gave her a nod as she looked over to him, almost as if to say, ‘Is it okay to leave?’ and once she was gone Richie let his shoulders relax only a little bit- Before he realized he had his own room to be getting back to.

“Eds’ You know I gotta go back to my room.” He whispered as softly as he could, attempting to hide his own contempt.

Eddie let out this sort of unrecognizable whine that had rarely come from Eddie’s mouth, “No, It hurts when you leave- Stay with me.”

It was such a sweet and soft demand that it almost broke his heart to untangle himself from his best friend.

“Look, I’ll be back in like an hour- Just hold on while I’m gone, Can you do that for me?”

Eddie gave him a small nod, and he received the biggest smile Richie could muster up in his current situation.

God dammit, Saying no to this boy is the hardest thing Richie ever has to do.

  
-But his parents were waiting for him, and he loved them almost as much as he loved Eddie, So here he was, leaving his best friend who's in immeasurable pain to go please his parents and fool them into believing he’s been in his room the entire night. Just like he's been doing for years.

“Richard Tozier, We’ve been waiting for thirty minutes.”

Of course his parents would already be there, His mother waiting to dote on him while his father watched with a worried expression- As if Richie hadn't been perfectly fine for the last three days.

Apparently today wouldn’t be as easy as he thought, Because his mother insists on _‘Richie, Today we want to spend time with you- Make sure you’re okay.’_

Of course Richie had protested, But what the fuck are you supposed to do when your parents actually care about you? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are appreciated! Dont forget to subscribe!
> 
> Love, Kellie.  
> <3


	9. Goodnight Sweatheart, Goodnight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s been sitting here for about an hour, His mother crocheting while his father goes on about the last baseball game, attempting to get him into a real conversation. It's not working. Its not going to fucking work. His brain is on the fritz, He’s already seeing red and all he can hear in his brain is Eddie crying in pain, He was better this morning, But how is Richie supposed to know it lasted? He had to leave his best friend while he's been in pain for nearly a whole week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS YOUR GIRL!!!!
> 
> I actually cranked out 3k for this chapter which is amazing??? Im so proud of myself I could cry!
> 
> I hope everyone is okay in quarantine!
> 
> Comments, subscriptions, and kudos are v much appreciated!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Love,Kellie

  
_**H**_ e’s been sitting here for about an hour, His mother crocheting while his father goes on about the last baseball game, attempting to get him into a real conversation. It's not working. Its not going to fucking work. His brain is on the fritz, He’s already seeing red and all he can hear in his brain is Eddie crying in pain, He was better this morning, But how is Richie supposed to know it lasted? He had to leave his best friend while he's been in pain for nearly a whole week.

His brain is on a constant mantra of _.EddieEddieEddieEddie_. And it doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. Apparently the glares hes been sending both of his parent’s ways aren’t doing shit because they continue to ignore his obvious displeasure so they can take part in a happy family routine that Richie really isn’t in the fucking mood for. 

He wants Eddie.

-And he wants him right fucking now.

That didn’t seem to matter to anyone but Richie.

The only other thing that Richie knows, Somehow some way, He knows the rest of the losers’ are all in Eddie’s room taking care of him. Maybe it's because none of them are currently trying to weasel their way into Richie’s own room- He's not exactly sure.

-But Richie couldn’t scratch the nagging feeling in his chest and under his skin that Eddie wasn’t being taken care of properly- Like the people who were working on him and for him couldn’t do anything that Richie could. 

Obviously Richie knew that was ridiculous because Richie knows in reality he can’t do anything either. All he can really do is sit next to him on that incredibly uncomfortable bed and rub his back, Tell him how good he’s being and how much better he’s getting every day.

Eddie being good wasn’t a lie, The fact that he was getting better was.

What is Richie supposed to say anyway? _ **‘Hey Eds’, You’re the love of my life! But don’t worry thats not the only bad news! You had internal bleeding and they have no idea where it's coming from and they still don’t know why you’re in constant pain!’**_ \- Was he really supposed to say that to him?

Even if that was what needed to be said, Richie would never let those words come out of his mouth. He knew they would figure it out eventually and Eddie would be fine, For right now at least his arm was healing and he was a little snippier than he was the day before.

Richie counts that as a win.

“Richard? Are you even listening to us?” 

His brain zeroed in on his parents, as if his head was a rubber band that just snapped back into place and he gave them an almost empty stare, One that eventually melted into recognition.

“Yeah, Guys- I know, I’m going home tomorrow.”

The words were ringing in his ears again, Even worse once they came out of his own mouth and he was confirming something so awful- It left this metallic disgusting taste in his mouth.

He’s leaving- He’s leaving Eddie alone.

The rest of the losers’ were leaving tomorrow as well, Except of course Eddie, One of the worst parts is that Eddie’s fucking mother is the happiest she’s ever been. Her voice was still grinding against his ears- Like nails on chalk boards.

It made him sick.

Her constant voicing of, _‘Oh Eddie-bear, Are you running a fever again?’_

_‘Eddie-Bear, Are you okay?’_

_‘Mommy’s here.’_

Richie had never wanted to chuck more than that moment, When she placed a hand on Eddie’s forehead to ‘soothe’ him. He also had never wanted more than to tear someone limb from limb, How dare she even touch him? After everything she's done to him?

Eddie was his, He knew that now- More than he had ever known it before.

He could still feel Eddie’s face in his neck and his arms wrapped around him, Like a small child who's scared of the dark. Although Eddie wasn’t weak like that though, He had never been afraid of the dark, He had always loved it- Mostly because no one ever bothered him if his lights were off.

No one bothered them.

When the light was off and Richie climbed into the dark room to snuggle up to his best friend, No one ever even thought that he was in there, No one checked in, Or knocked on Eddie’s door. Not Sonia, nobody.

Even when they had sleepovers, Eddie always ended up snuggled into Richie, So he could be held as tight as he possibly could. If Richie thought about it, No one ever touched Eddie the way Richie does, and maybe it was because Richie never gave anyone the chance.

Some girl would come up to Eddie in school, try to flirt with him- Twirl their stupid fucking hair and attempt to get him to agree to a date. The Aladdin, Or just a picnic- But Eddie always gave a polite smile and said no. Usually with Richie running up to him and giving him a tight hug.

He could hear himself running throughout the halls, always spotting Eddie with someone new, Always seeing someone trying to get in his pants, Trying to make him laugh.

Of course no one ever made Eddie laugh the way Richie does, and Richie took pride in that more than he probably should. 

_‘Spaghetti! We’ve got ten minutes to be in class, and If you don’t walk with me, I’m definitely not buying your lunch!’_

It was always things like that, throwing around all the nicknames he gave Eddie- Making it as blatant as possible as to how close they were.

If Richie could plaster a sign onto Eddie that said ‘I sleep next to Richie Tozier every night’ He would’ve done it years ago.

If Richie was with him, Eddie would be covered head to toe in dark angry hickies. However Eddie wasn’t his, But he was still Richie’s to take care of. Eddie needed to be protected, to be loved.

He didn’t need Sonia fucking Kaspbrak ** _touching_** him like that, He didn’t need her hands all over him, _‘Checking on him’ ‘Making sure he’s okay’._

It made him physically sick.

“Richie, You can’t focus all your energy on Eddie.” Maggie’s voice was soft as she walked towards him, reaching over to pet his head, running her fingers through his hair- Just like he does for Eddie.

His mother always takes care of him, The sweet little lady she is.

He’s pretty sure he got it from his dad, That need to take care of something so sweet and precious. He wanted to impress Eddie like a princess being presented with a glass slipper. He wanted that boy to feel just as special as Richie knows he is. 

Richie knew his father felt the same about Maggie, And it was one of the things he always appreciated about his family- How they love wholeheartedly for each other and everyone else in their lives.

He wished, he prayed, that maybe one day- Eddie would love him like his mother loves his father. That they would be able to have that full, heartfelt love- It was so pure, So clean- It was like having a soulmate, and Richie got to watch it.

“Ma, I’m not even sick anymore- Eddie is, I’m worried ‘bout him.” 

Both his parents exchanged a glance and then a sympathetic gaze towards him, “His mother is here..He’ll be fine- Maybe you should take some time to take care of yourself.” 

His mother was trying so hard to seperate them right now, It was filling Richie’s veins with a type of fury that fizzed through every nerve in his body-But no, This was his mother, and he knew Maggie wanted nothing more than to know Richie was fine. She was worried.

Richie needed to remember that he was attacked by a fucking wolf and his mother is probably still terrified. He also needs to remember neither of his parents know the shit Eddie’s been through with his mother.

  
It turns out both of his parents were not as concerned about Eddie as Richie was, After Richie had all but pushed both of them out of his room, using the exact term of, _‘I need time to take care of myself.’_

He knew nobody was going to let him in Eddie’s room, Not yet- It was too early, It was too full of other people. Richie also knew that his mother had probably already spoken to the staff in order to keep him away from the smaller boy as well.

His mother had gone on to him about how Eddie would be fine, _‘He’s with the Denbrough kid, He’ll be okay, Hun.’_

That's what made him explode, He knew it's what made him fucking blow his lid and all but yell at his parents to leave his hospital room. The thoughts spinning in his head like a tilt a whirl at their yearly fair- The little cars bouncing around his skull, Each one holding another agonizing thought, One right after the other.

Each one a memory- Memories that burned into his fucking brain and made him see red, As if he could spill blood right in that room or rip a beating heart from someone’s chest.

_‘E-eddie, Y-you’re so a-adorable when you patch p-people up.’_

_He could hear the voice of a little Bill denbrough, talking to Eddie like he was a puppy, giving him all the praise tiny Eddie Kaspbrak could want._

_Even back then it had absolutely killed him, To watch someone else take care of Eddie- Mostly while Eddie was taking care of him._

_Richie had scraped his knee on the asphalt when he fell off his new bike and Eddie had raced to his side to patch him up, Bill following close behind to ‘check on them’, Of course Richie didn’t give a shit about what Bill thought, But he did care about what Eddie thought- Screw it, He just cared about Eddie._

_He had watched Eddie blush under Bill’s praise and wanted nothing more than to kick Bill in the balls and wrap Eddie up in his arms and tell him how good he did for taking care of his cut._

Richie always made sure never to show pain around Eddie, No matter how much something hurt- Because well, Eddie needed to know that Richie was strong- Maybe strong enough to take care of him.

He made a verbal scoff as he sat on the edge of his hospital bed- His jeans (brought from home) were scratching uncomfortably at the sheets and the noise made him want to die- It was just so loud, Everything was so fucking loud.

It only hit him then that he was crying, He was actually crying over someone else being in a closed room with his best friend. 

He was his best friend, thats it.

Recently its gotten so much harder to remind himself that everything between the both of them was platonic- That Eddie didn’t see him that way and that they didn’t have the same kind of connect Richie’s parents shared.

-Well, At Least on Eddie’s end.

Richie knew he would do just about anything for Eddie, And he knew it was basically the same the other way around, except Eddie wasn’t in love with him- And Richie needed to remember that- He really needed to fucking remember.

**_.EddiedoesntloveyouEddiedoesntloveyouEddiedoesntloveyou._ **

Maybe that was the mantra he needed to keep in his head.

That fucking mantra seemed almost impossible to keep when thirty minutes later, Richie’s throwing a tangereen bouncy ball up and down while laying on his back in his room, When he gets an interrupted knock.

-Because now apparently its free reign again, God damnit do his parents have any fucking power over teenagers? Obviously fucking not, Because Stan is staring at him from the door way, and hes once again on the receiving end of sympathy.

“He says he wants you, Rich.”

For a second it feels like his entire body has stopped, every blood vessel and vein feels frozen- But then things speed up into reality again and he remembers, He isn’t Eddie’s to want, Is he?

“He has _Billiam._ ” Richie shrugs, throwing the ball towards Stan and watching as Stan catches it with surprising ease.

“He says, He wants you- Now get up and go.” Richie raises an eyebrow as Stan throws it back to him, and they’re now in an impromptu game of catch, as if one of them drops the ball the conversation is ended and one of them wins.

No one wins- Except probably Bill.

“Stan, You don’t get to tell me what to do.” His voice was flat but yet it had this sort of..Amusement in it? As if the thought of Stan ordering him around was the best joke he himself has ever cracked.

He throws the ball just with a little more force and watches it as Stan catches it once again- He knows this game, and for some reason they aren’t on an equal playing field anymore. He can tell that Stan is feeding off his energy and that whatever he puts out he’ll receive from Stan like a fucking mirror.

“No, I don’t tell you what to do- But Eddie always does, and he wants you.” 

Richie scoffs, “Bill’s taking care of him- It's what my Ma’ said.” He states as if he’s little again and he's saying a ‘yo mama’ joke. Except he’s not joking, and he's not fucking laughing.

He watches as Stan just drops the ball and takes a few cautious steps towards him, Finally reaching him and placing both hands on his shoulders in a grounding tactic that always seemed to help.

“If what you call ‘taking care’ is panicking while Eddie cries and throws things?” He comments, dipping his head down to give his friend a challenging glance.

“If you think you can do better, Get to it Tozier.”

  
So he does.

  
_“Eddie calm the fuck down!”_

He knows that yell, It's the complete sentences that always throws him off- Its when Bill’s already had enough and he's so worked up his brain doesn’t give itself a chance to stutter. Richie grits his teeth at the words- No matter how much that stern voice may have frightened him when they were little- It did absolutely nothing to him now.

Well, Except piss him off.

_“Bill, If you don’t shut the fuck up-”_

That voice, the soft but deadly threat was coming straight from Beverly herself- And it warmed his heart that she was- Like always, On his side over everything else. Or maybe on Eddie’s side, But they were always on the same side so-Fuck it.

He eyes Ben who’s doing his own little work of guarding the door, and Richie really has no idea if its working or not, but the poor kid looks more frightened of Bill than he is with Eddie- And Richie isn’t doubting people should be afraid of that boy too- Because he could hear the loud crashing and cracking of glass.

“You-” **_.Crash._** “Dont!” **_Crunch._** “Tell me!” _**clink.**_ “What to do!”

-Alright, Well that sounds a lot more like his Eddie and it almost had Richie fucking beaming as he walked into the room- But the minute he walked in, He saw the image for what it really was- Eddie looked like a scared animal, Like a deer caught in the headlights or a bunny caught in a trap, desperately trying to get out.

That's when Richie stops.

He doesn’t cackle or heckle any of the losers, He doesn’t even crack a joke. What he sees in that room doesn’t scare him, it doesn’t freeze his blood or veins, it just breaks his heart. Eddie looks so fucking scared in this room.

Surrounded by so many people, by at least two male nurses and a female nurse who looks frightened, Not to mention Bill and Bev- And He undoubtedly knows Stan and Ben are looking in as well.

Eddie has always been a private person, He was even private as a little kid, When you’re supposed to share everything- He was always so secretive, Only leaning into Richie to tell him all his little secrets and treasures. He had even once tried to hide the fact that he lost his first tooth, Of course everyone had noticed- But Richie had sat there and listened to Eddie and told Eddie ‘Wow, Spaghetti! I had no idea, That's so cool!’- Even though it was the talk of their first grade class.

He did those things for Eddie, He always would- And it's why he’s doing these things now. Why he’s sending the deadliest glares he's ever sent as the three nurses go scurrying out, The blonde lady- Who had once been terrified was now trying to reason with him to let her check on him and his wounds. 

Beverly had stepped in at one point, leading the lady out of the room to talk to her privately, and Richie had no idea what Beverly does to get people to listen to her like that but it works. 

Then the only people left in the room are the Losers’, And almost all of them are crowding into Eddie’s space, trying to make him feel protected- But Richie knows Eddie, So, So much more than any of them do. 

“You guys need to get out for a few minutes.” His voice was dripping with this certainty that the Losers’ rarely heard from him, And he watched as it had Everyone but Bill turning tail out of the room. 

“You too Big Bill.” 

He watched as for once Bill actually flinched as his deep tone, as if his words were cutting through a barrier he didn’t know they had. 

“I w-wanna stay and take c-care of Eddie.” 

Richie pushed passed Bill, shouldering him as he opened his hands up in front of himself, showing surrender to Eddie, Who looked at him with these wild eyes. The type of eyes he gets when Eddie really thinks he's done something wrong- But Richie also sees the eyes of someone who is just terrified.

Eddie isn’t bleeding anymore and he seems to be fine other than newly forming bruises on his wrists that had fire burning through Richie’s body quicker than the flames being lit from matches. He could see the blooming purple and red marks and it gave Richie his own hurt- In a completely different way.

Someone had marked Eddie up like this, **_.Multiple_**. People had put hands on him and held him down and it made Richie’s heart break, And it shattered when he realised he wasn’t there, He had been absent from all of this, He had been locked in a room and shut away so he couldn’t help Eddie.

-And now, here he was, His back pressed against a wall voluntarily. Richie was watching him crumble in fear, The fire in his eyes fading as the last thing in his hand dropped.

It took Richie all of three seconds to see what had shattered- Apparently hospitals were stupi enough to keep actual framed photos and glass vases as decor in Rich patients rooms and well, Eddie’s mother insisted on _‘The best for her Eddie-Bear.’_

It seems like Eddie had thrown just about everything in sight and Richie was really fucking surprised he wasn’t being attacked right now.

Richie stuck out his hand, not making a further attempt to move closer to Eddie, putting the ball in his best friend's corner. He watched as Eddie took small steps over shattered glass and placed his small hand in Richie’s.

“Spaghetti? What happened?”

Eddie shook his head with watery eyes, his mouth wobbling as if he would break out into tears all over again, “You know- I don’t like needles- Richie, Bill told them they could take blood.”

Oh, yeah, Fucking _needles_ \- That’ll do it for anyone, But especially Eddie.

As the saying goes, _ **Fuck Sonia Kaspbrak.**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Love,Kellie


	10. Pink shoelaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie’s pretty sure he won’t ever be ready- Ready to move on from Eddie? He has no idea if he’ll be able to do that. Eddie was everything Richie ever wanted, and in so many ways he already had Eddie, He already had Eddie, in all his hugs and embraces, Every time they held hands or shared sodas- He had that boy, and he loved him so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I decided the chapters Im going to write will be no less than 3k! So it may take longer for updates, but hopefully they will be worth it!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Love,Kellie

_**T**_ aking care of your best friend who you’re already in love with is hard, Like really fucking hard- But taking care of them when you know you’re leaving in a couple hours is worse. Richie’s pretty sure the worst part about it is that Eddie has no idea yet.

Or at least he’s pretty sure Eddie has no idea, Because right now Eddie’s laying on top of him half asleep, while Richie’s singing to him any song that comes to his mind- Most of the songs he never fucking completes because he cant remember half the words.

Maybe he can’t remember the words because Eddie looks so adorable on top of him, Or maybe it's just the thought of the fact that its **_Eddie on top of him_**. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was so distracted now. Eddie’s been on top of him plenty of times, but now was different.

In fact there were so many things that were different, Like Bev, She was more assertive than she was before she got bit, She was also more caring- Taking care of Eddie more than she had ever done.

Eddie was different too, He wasn’t docile-God he really wasn’t docile, After his outburst he had calmed down enough to let Richie hold him and he had all but fallen asleep. However if anyone else tried to enter the room, not only Richie felt like flipping his shit, but so did Eddie.

Richie could see the little things in Eddie’s demeanor that he hadn’t seen before. One of the weirdest things he’s noticed is that he stops- Its weird, really fucking weird, but Eddie will stop, If Richie is fucking firm enough, Eddie doesn’t resist or fight- He just apologizes as if he’s given the biggest offense to Richie.

“If you keep singing [**_‘pink shoelaces’_**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lW0a3sR0Usw) I’m going to kill you, Richard.” 

Richie let out a soft chuckle at Eddie’s words and in response brushed his fingers through Eddie’s soft locks.

“Well I’m sorry my fifties music irritates you- I could always leave.” 

-And he laughs, Eddie genuinely laughs because he knows Richie would never leave him. Eddie’s real physical response to Richie’s words is to hold him tighter, just clutching Richie’s shirt and burying his face into Richie’s chest.

“You wouldn’t dare leave me while I’m in the hospital.” He counters.

Richie shifts in an uncomfortable motion, “About that, Spaghetti..” His voice slows down into a whisper- And he watches as Eddie lifts his head up to look at him, a quizzical expression on his face.

“I’m being discharged tomorrow, But I promise I’ll come visit you every day.” Richie’s answer came out rushed and panicked.

“Why do you have to leave, anyways?” 

“Because I’m better, Spaghetti- I don’t need to be here anymore.” He paused, brushing a stray hair from Eddie’s face, “And soon neither will you, I bet in a couple more days you’ll be right as rain.”

In all honesty, Richie had no idea when Eddie would get better, Or when he would be able to get home, But he did know he would be by his side the entire time. Richie gave him the softest of smiles.

He had a feeling Eddie also knew that he was full of shit. Eddie always knew that about him, Well if Richie was being honest, Eddie knew everything about him- So he wouldn’t be surprised if the little fucker was just humoring him while Richie was taking care of him.

-And god was he taking care of Eddie, Richie was doing just about everything he could to make sure Eddie was comfortable, Which included giving him one of his own band shirts, because honestly, Seeing Eddie in a hospital gown was fucking killing him, and Richie’s shirts were practically fucking dresses on that boy.

Holy fuck, they really were, They were like the type of long baggy shirts that you’d see on a girl right after they got fucked, and you could see on their face that they got fucked good. At times like these where he’s looking down at Eddie, wearing the gold chain he had bought him and one of his Nirvana shirts, he can’t help but think what Eddie would look like if he had been one of those girls..But Richie would never want a girl, Just Eddie.

-Eddie sitting there on his lap, still wearing his shirt maybe even ri-

No, No, This is Eddie, and Eddie doesn’t care about him like that- Its wrong to even think about something like that, To wonder about what the inside of his thigh feels like, He wonders if its soft like it was when they were little, and he wonders what it would look like if it was covered in purple and red bruises.

He would kill to see that.

However, Richie’s had more time feeling Eddie’s silky skin than he’s had in years- And as much as Richie wanted Eddie to get better, He wanted nothing more than to hold Eddie like this forever.

  
“Bevvie, Richie says I’m gonna be fine soon!”

He watched as Eddie opened his arms for Bev to wrap her own around his small frame, And once again Eddie was smiling, So wide and so bright it felt like Richie’s heart was being squeezed into a sweater three times too small. 

This boy, This beautiful, Beautiful boy, looked so fucking happy just being held by anyone. He needed that love and attention and Richie knew it. Richie knew like no one else did, How badly Eddie needed to be held and cared for. 

-But maybe all the other losers’ did too, At least right now, Because they were all leaving tomorrow and Eddie would be left alone at night- Or worse stuck with his mother while the rest of the group were at school.

That was it, That's the thought that really killed him- Eddie would be alone with his mother, because the rest of the losers’ wouldn’t be there to protect him. Richie wouldn’t be there to protect him, And he wasn’t sure when he had started separating himself from the rest of his friends but he did.

  
It was like part of him couldn’t bear to be away from Eddie, Like without that small gorgeous boy, He would be nothing, Or at the very least a part of him would be missing. What would he do? What would Richie do without his best friend? Without the love of his life? What would he do without him to hold, to read comics with, to carry around while he makes fun of him?

He had absolutely no idea.

_Would he find someone new?_

No, He could never- No one in the entire world could replace Eddie Kaspbrak. Richie is pretty sure no one has ever matched up to Eddie in his entire life. For as long as he could possibly remember, Eddie has been there beating him match for match, Word for Word.

They were each other's matches, that lit the flames inside both of them, And Richie was so, so, so happy that Eddie’s fire was returning. Slowly but surely his pissy and sassy comments were coming back and hitting Richie right in the face and heart.

It dawns on Richie, That Eddie is a lot like a Koala Bear, He’s cute, cuddly but he won't hesitate to rip you to shreds, and in Richies opinion that is just Cute! Cute! Cute!, Richie’s seen Eddie go off on so many people in his time, but he’s only seen that little pouty face and furrowed brow when it came to Richie poking fun at him.

It's honestly one of Richie’s favorite things, and he never wants to give it up, Or more importantly, he never wants to give Eddie up- And yes, He fucking knows Eddie isn’t his, Eddie doesn’t feel the same, But what he does know is that they love each other with everything they have..Just in different ways.

“That's because you’ve been looking better and better every day, Eddie.” 

Beverly’s voice was soft and reassuring as she leaned down to peck Eddie’s forehead- And Richie watched while Eddie gleamed under the touch.

“Eds’ looks absolutely magnificent, If I do say so myself.” Now, Richie was still perfecting his cowboy accent but he's pretty sure that one was amazing.

He watches as Eddie’s head whips towards him with his little angry face, “Richie! That impression is fucking horrible, never use it on me again.” 

-But of course the second Eddie finished his sentence the both of them were laughing hysterically. Even Bev got in on the giggling fit, Because their laughter was always contagious. The way the three of them react to each other is one of Richie’s favorite things, But its nothing compared to when all the Losers’ are together in one place.

Nothing would ever compare to the six of them together running around and making trouble. When it was just him and Bev, they would go lift cigs from the pharmacy, When he was chilling with Bill they could play video games for hours. Hanging out with Stan were the times that he talked, and not the shit talk he fills the day with, it was a real conversation between the two of them. Richie wasn’t too sure what chilling with Ben would be like, but he had a feeling that he was meant to be with the losers’ and that was reason enough for him.

With Eddie things were different, He could do anything and everything with Eddie. They had those deep conversations at night, while they’re both squeezed into Eddie’s tiny ass bed. They joke around and bicker during the day time, Sometimes Richie just carries him on his back all day.

“Miss. Marsh, Do tell Spaghetti that my impressions are amazing.” He pleads.

“No can do, They all suck.”

Richie feigns offense but still ends up snickering anyway.

  
It feels like no time had passed at all when he was being discharged, but in Richie’s opinion it was more like being forced out of a building to leave Eddie alone. Leaving Eddie felt like he was stepping on his heart, crushing it with every step on the pavement.

His parents decided that they should go for pancakes, And Richie inwardly cried. It felt like something inside him was clawing to get out, the need to get back to Eddie was overwhelming. He had never felt something so strong in his life, The absolute friendzy in his brain.

Before he thought maybe he was just being protective over Eddie while he was in the hospital, But now he knew it must have been more than that. Everything in his body was screaming at him to get back there, to get to Eddie, to hold him and take care of him. There was little voice inside his head that told him Eddie needed him there too.

There was something just clawing at his mind and body, it wasn’t going away- It was getting stronger, With every block they passed to the diner he felt like he was being pulled farther and farther away from the most important thing in the world.

“Richie are you just going to give us the silent treatment until we take you back to see Eddie?”

“I’m not giving you the silent treatment, I’m just tired, Ma.”

That had been Richie’s response way too much recently, _‘I’m tired.’_ \- And the truth was, He actually really fucking exhausted. It was like no matter what he did he couldn’t get any of his energy back.

After he had been bit, He was full of energy- But now he was just lethargic. It seemed that every bone in his body was weighing him down, Like his own fucking limbs were too heavy for his body- He was so fucking tired.

“Well we haven’t been out together in weeks, it’ll be nice to walk around town.” 

His father's voice was always so reassuring, always warm and welcoming- But now he wanted nothing more than for it to stop- Every time he heard his dad talk, there was a fight within himself about who he actually was. Part of him wanted to yell at his dad and tell him, ‘I’m not a fucking kid anymore’, And the other half wanted more than anything to just crawl on the couch and watch old movies with him.

He wasn’t just tired physically, He was exhausted mentally- He had no idea what was going on in his own brain. Richie knew he had the constant mantra of ‘Eddie’ in his head, but there was more. He kept thinking about if his friends were safe, If Bill was doing okay? If Ben was acclimating? He could Tell Bev and Stan were doing okay, But the group as a whole? He had no fucking idea.

He was stuck in a constant circle of thoughts that never seemed to end, No matter how tired he was and how much he wanted to sleep, His dreams always circled back to his problems-Problems? Did he even have any?

In reality he knew he was fine, Everyone was okay, They were all getting out of the hospital and he knew Eddie was recovering, But something was off- Okay, A lot of things are off.

He still hasn’t told his parents he can see perfectly fine without his glasses, And he knows Bev for some reasons is extremely capable of getting people to listen to her- Although that isn’t really odd, because she’s always had the dominating presence- She's always been that type of person who demands to be heard.

-But it seems like it doesn’t matter who Richie is talking to in the group, Richie is always the one that gets the answers. It fills Richie with pride..And some sort of power that hes never felt before- And it should scare him, It should really fucking scare him- But hes not terrified, He’s barely even blinking at it, Because thats how it should’ve always been.

-Or at least that's how he feels it should’ve always been, He’s not dumb, He’s watched Stan and Bill tak heatedly in corners about it. Richie knows that Bill feels like he's just lost something important and he can’t live without it- And as much as Richie loves Bill, He would still love to put his middle finger up and say a ‘fuck you Bill’ every single time he tells someone to do something and it gets done.

It's a power surge that Richie’s pretty sure he would do anything to keep.

**.He stays with them for three hours.**

For three fucking hours he hangs out with his parents and it feels as if everything was normal. His parents share small smiles and talk about work, The waitress- Mary- She gives him the flirtatious smile she always does when he comes in- And Richie’s pretty sure she's had a crush on him since they were like four.

He knows Mary works part time at the diner, but works weekends as a receptionist at his dad's clinic. She always knows his order and gives him the largest of smiles when he comes in to visit his dad. In every sense of the word she is absolutely perfect. 

Perfect for anyone but Richie.

She wears skirts that look like they’ve came just off the rack at a new york mall, and she loves to wear gaudy jewelry- And Richie knows that if it were someone else, Someone short, with cute little freckles and small curls of brown hair- Well, He knows it would all look fucking amazing.

-But on a girl, large colorful rings and black flowy dresses- They aren’t what he wants, it's not what he needs and at any other time he would’ve been flattered at a girl whispering a ‘Hi Richie.’ as she passed his table.

Except this time it made his stomach twist, as if he was being unfaithful, Something he would never be in a million years- But at this moment, It felt like his heart was being wrenched from his chest and stepped on.

Maybe it wasn’t even his heart, Maybe it was someone else’s because he feels absolutely betrayed.

“Y’know, I think Mary likes you, Richie.” His mother’s voice was filled with excitement.

His eyes were rolling before he could control his own reaction, “Ma, You know I’m not interested in dating anyone.”

It was the same thing he always told them, _‘Not interested_ ’ _‘she’s nice though’_ _‘not ready’._

  
Richie’s pretty sure he won’t ever be ready- Ready to move on from Eddie? He has no idea if he’ll be able to do that. Eddie was everything Richie ever wanted, and in so many ways he already had Eddie, He already had Eddie, in all his hugs and embraces, Every time they held hands or shared sodas- He had that boy, and he loved him so much.

“Richie it might be good to get out there, Especially after what happened in the woods..New friends or maybe a girlfriend wouldn’t be too bad.”

New friends? A girlfriend? He’d rather fucking croak than do anything of the sort. Moving on from Eddie was one thing that he knew would never be possible, Leaving his friends behind was also out of the fucking question.

“Dad, I couldn’t go a day without the rest of the losers’, without Eddie- And you expect me to drop them and get a girlfriend?”

Richie’s voice sounded almost feral, as if he was about to jump over the table and strangle his dad at any moment, But he couldn’t- He could never do that to someone he cares about so much.

“You realize you need to move past this codependent friendship at some point, Richard.”

Co-dependent? Not at all.

If co-dependant is not being able to go a couple hours without filling your best friends in on your life is co-dependant well- Fuck.

-But he’s pretty sure the only time being codependent turns into a problem is when he’s surrounded by Eddie, When he knows he can’t leave his side or he knows he’d go to the end of the earth in those moments to give him anything he wanted. Richie would jump a guy if Eddie said, ‘Richie I want that soda he has.’

To put it simply, Richie was pretty sure he would do anything for his friends, _But he would do everything for Eddie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reach me at @toziersspaghettihead on tumblr and Instagram!
> 
> Subs,Kudos, and comments are appreciated sooo much!!
> 
> Love,Kellie


	11. If you just realized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes some girls would come up to Richie and say shit like, ‘Hey Richie, Wanna spend time under the bleachers.’ And they would give him this shy little smile, as if they blatantly didn’t ask him to stick his tongue down their throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People were very excited for me to post! I feel so bad for neglecting this one for my 50's fic! Sorry bbies! But here is you're chapter, All 3,075 words!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it
> 
> Stay safe
> 
> Love,Kellie

_“Trashmouth!”_

_“Hey Richie!”_

_“What’s new Tozier?”_

He heard shit like that every time he walked through the halls of Derry High. The problem was, When he usually heard those things, His name being called, His _‘friends_ ’- More like acquaintances calling out to him- He usually had his arms around Eddie. Of course everyone was always trying to get their attention, Some girl would call out to Eddie, Ask him if he wanted to meet up in the library.

Sometimes some girls would come up to Richie and say shit like, ‘ _Hey Richie, Wanna spend time under the bleachers._ ’ And they would give him this shy little smile, as if they blatantly didn’t ask him to stick his tongue down their throat. 

-And everytime Richie would just blow them off, Usually using Beverly as an excuse. He would give an offhanded, ‘Sorry I have to study’ Or ‘ _Can’t I have dinner’_ but his favorite was _‘Me and Bev have a prior engagement.’_

Everyone in town knew Beverly Marsh, And for a long time people would call her a slut. After a while, When Beverly had started to really stand up for herself- When she had chopped off her hair and jumped off the cliff into the quarry- She had set herself free.

Bev had become their wild card, No one could tell what she was doing next- And if any of the losers’ were honest..They didn’t want to know. They let Beverly do her own thing, She made friends, Joined fashion club, She did anything she felt like- And her aunt supported her through it all.

So now everyone was back in school, except Eddie- And the thought of that nearly tore Richie apart- But he wasn’t alone, He walked around with the rest of his friends and he shared classes with a few of them. 

He spent most of the day hiding near the dumpster with Bev, Smoking up a storm. They leaned against one another, Joking about life and talking about nothing- Mostly making fun of the other kids that they would see walking by.

“Y’know that kid, She wants to be like Cyndi Lauper so fuckin’ bad, Rich.” 

Richie gave her a sort as he leaned his head against the brick wall, “Her nose is too big, She couldn’t pull off her look.”

Beverly gave him a chuckle, taking a puff of her cigarette and blowing out the smoke in a way they had seen in a film.

“Bev, I’m fucking crawling out of my skin.” 

“Probably because you’re away from Eddie, Rich.” She paused, “You never liked being away from him much, And now you know he’s in the fuckin’ hospital, Its not gonna help.”

  
Maybe Richie should have come to the conclusion earlier, But no one can blame him, For the last couple days he's felt as if his brain is melting through his ears- But he did eventually get there, It finally hit him in the face that he’s never been away from Eddie this long- Like ever.

Sure, Sonia would lock him up in his second story tower and Richie would pitch a fit, Call Eddie on the landline in his room and talk his ear off for hours. Then later on in the night he’d just sneak up into his room and cuddle him, Because Richie knew, If Eddie was stuck up there in his room, His mother had already traumatized him in some way or another.

He knows Eddie is still locked up in the hospital and his parents had insisted on him not visiting- And of course now that Bev wasn’t there to calm the bitch down, Sonia was insisting on Eddie not being allowed to take calls, that her ‘Eddie-Bear is too sick.’

-And fucking god did he hate that nickname, He hates it more than Eddie does, Probably. He hates that someone else gave him a nickname- One that his boy has to hear everyday- And Richie’s been calling Eddie nicknames since the day he met the small asthmatic boy.

He’s heard ‘Don’t call me Eds’”, More times than he can count.

Those four words were blessings to his ears and if he could hear it every second of the day he would, Because he loves that boy- He loves him so much he feels like he can't breathe without him.

-Which brings him back to his present thoughts of missing Eddie more than he ever thought was possible. He hasn’t been to school without Eddie for more than two days in years, How is he supposed to cope with this.

“Alright, So what do you expect me to do? How am I supposed to move past this?”

He watched as Bev put out her cigarette and looked at him with sympathy, It was basically rolling off her in waves- But for some reason, She was calming him, Making him feel as if he wasn’t absolutely alone without Eddie- Which in reality he knew he wasn’t, It just felt like his world was being turned upside down.

“You don't, Rich- You go see him when school gets out.” 

Richie scoffs, “I was fuckin’ planning on it already, Marsh.”

  
So he does, Richie Tozier skips out on his last three classes and runs his whole way to the hospital- Well, It's not like its a long ass run, It's only a couple blocks away, And Richie had this urge to escape literally everything and go as fast as he can, Running from the pain in his chest.

His feet hit the linoleum of the waiting room quick enough and as he waits at the front desk, His fingers tap in annoyance more than the anxiety he feels buzzing through his veins and into his heart, Making it beat in a quick and irregular pattern.

“Hello!” His voice was just a little more demanding than normal as he looks behind the desk, Not even needing his tippitoes to reach over and look for any form of life behind that fucking piece of wood.

The squeaking of white sneakers against the tile brings Richie’s attention behind him and he whips his body around, leaning his arms behind him against the desk and giving a large- Fake- Smile towards the older woman facing him with an irritated frown.

“You can’t start yelling in a hospital waiting room Mr.Tozier.” Her voice was laced with irritation but Richie couldn’t find it in himself to care.

“Yeah, Well Rachel- If you were doing your fucking job and letting me into wing A I wouldnt be yelling for someones attention.”

He eyed her as she crossed her arms in a defensive stance and it made Richie relax on his own, He saw no threat in an old lady who was giving him a glare in his need to see his best friend.

“Language Mr. Tozier..” She paused, An uncomfortable emotion playing on her face, “I- Uh, I hate to break it to you, But once again his mother insists on no visitors.” 

“Come back tomorrow, Maybe she’ll change her mind.”

His eye roll didn’t go unnoticed as he took a stride towards Rachel, “C’mon Rache you’re a good woman, We both know Sonia Kaspbrak isn’t going to let anyone see Eddie.”

The nod he got in conformation was enough as she made it to her desk, grabbing the key to the wing and jerking her head in a ‘follow me’ motion.

**_Success._ **

It didn’t take long for her to approach Sonia and tell her she needed to take a few tests for Eddie, ‘Just checking in to make sure he’s healing alright.’ 

-And of course the minute Sonia started putting up a fight about leaving her son, Three more nurses were coming towards her, Shuffling their feet in reluctance. Richie didn’t work there but he knew that no one, Not even the most patient of all the staff didn’t want to deal with Sonia Kaspbrak.

She was led into the cafeteria quickly and Richie had made his ‘Great Escape’ into Eddie’s hospital room- Shutting the door in a quiet manor was a little harder than he remembered from two days ago.

He spotted the soft brown hair and Eddie’s mushed up face in a pillow- He could even hear Eddie’s soft little puffs of breath as he slept- Fucking adorable.

Richie made his way towards the hospital bed, Moving a chair over towards the side of it and watched Eddie sleep, Even if it was just for a few seconds it brought so much warmth to his heart. 

Reaching his hand out the brush his hand against Eddie’s face in a soothing motion as he watched his best friend wake from his peaceful slumber. His eyes fluttering open and for a second Richie could see that blank thought process that everyone had when they woke up, Where everything was perfect.

“You’re here.” 

The smile Richie gave him was definitely full of guilt.

“Of course, Spaghetti- I told you I’d come.”

Eddie’s pout returned almost immediately, “You didn’t.. You didn’t come to see me for two days.”

_.Two days._

_The longest two days of Richie's fucking life._

“I know, I'm really sorry ,Eds- My parents wanted me to spend some time..Alone.” His explanation was one he knew Eddie was gonna take personally and He could see his response coming before it ever left Eddie’s lips.

“You mean, Away from me, Rich.”

He sighed as Eddie sat up, That boy was preparing himself for battle. 

“Eds, It's not like my parents don’t love you- They just want me to be _‘Normal’_ I guess.” He stopped only for a second, trying to articulate his own words.

“They think we spend too much time together.” His admittance made him feel sick.

If Richie had a fucking choice he would have run away with Eddie years ago, And he would have spent every single day with him. He would buy him pretty things and hold him tight, He would do everything for him all the time. He would take care of his Eddie Spaghetti- Even if he killed him or made him broke in the process.

“Do you? Rich? Do you think we spend too much time together?” 

_**No.No.No.No.** _

“Eds, Never in a million years would I think we spend too much time together.”

-And Richie could see Eddie believes him, And that's all Richie really needed. Richie needed to know that Eddie understood how deep his loyalty for his best friend lies. Richie loves that boy so much- He knows without a shadow of a doubt that being with Eddie forever would be the greatest gift.

Yes, Richie fucking knows that one day Eddie is going to meet someone, He’s going to fall in love and leave Richie behind- Or worse, He doesn’t leave Richie, And Richie has to watch every day while somebody else kisses and loves him. He’ll have to hear about how happy he was in bed.

-And believe Richie, if Eddie fucking liked guys- Eddie would be a screamer, One of those real ones. The type of bottom that begs to be fucked into the mattress and destroyed. 

-But Eddie doesn’t like boys, and He’ll never get to see that boy fucked out on a mattress.

_That sucks._

“I don’t think so either, Richie.”

“I think I’ll go back to school soon.” Eddie’s voice dripped with hopefulness and Richie wanted nothing more than to share his excitement.

The corners of Richie’s mouth tilted up in amusement.

“You think? I dunno spaghetti, Two days ago you didn’t look so good.” 

Eddie cocked his head to the side, “Do I look good now? Am I horrific?” 

Richie shook his head, “No, You look amazing Eds, Absolutely beautiful.”

The blush that creeped up from Eddie’s neck to his cheeks was the most adorable thing in the entire world. If Richie could make Eddie blush like this for the rest of his life, If Richie could make his face this beautiful shade of pink constantly- He would drop anything and everything to compliment and make his boy feel that special.

Eddie was his, Even if he didn’t know- Or even if the rest of the losers didn’t know. Eddie Kaspbrak belonged with Richie, And Richie would have him in any way he could get him.

Richie scoots the chair a little closer to his best friend and reaches a hand out to hold Eddie’s- Being extremely careful of the needle in his hand. He grimaced at it just a tiny bit, Not even for the sight itself, But because he knows how much Eddie hates needles, Let alone being in a hospital by himself. 

-But he wasn’t by himself was he? Eddie was with his fucking narcassistic mother- And Richie’s pretty sure thats what terrifies him the most, That Eddie was stuck in a hospital room alone with a woman who convinced him he was sick for years- Practically Eddie’s whole life and now she had reasons to suffocate him.

“How was she- Y’know your ma?” Richie’s question was tentative and gentle, As if he didn’t want to strike the wrong chord.

Eddie’s eyes immediately shot down to his covered lap, And Richie could immediately feel the little shakes that went through Eddie’s body when he thought of his mother.

“She was alright..Just yelling a lot- Which isn’t really helpful..” Eddie stopped adjusting the blanket up to his chest, With one hand.

“She hurt my head- Loud.” He explains.

Its already been said by himself and everyone he knows that Richie fucking hates that bitch- And if Richie had a choice (Which he doesnt) he would have Eddie in his house sleeping in his room safe and sound.

Of course that wouldn’t fucking happen, Because as much as he loves his parents they are twats. They have no idea what's going on in Eddie’s house, And Richie’s not allowed to tell them. Richie would sooner die than tell one of Eddie’s secrets- That boy would never forgive him.

Richie knows that Eddie puts all his faith and trust in him and he couldn’t possibly break a promise to his best friend. No matter how much he wanted to shout from the rooftops how Sonia Kaspbrak was an abuser and that Eddie totally needs to be allowed to eat a burger because he looks at least fifteen pounds underweight.

“No offense, Eds- But your mom is a fucking cunt.” 

Eddie’s eyes turn into a glare- And even Richie knows that basically for show- Even though no one is in the room.

“My mother is fine, Richie.”

He scoffs in response, but changes the subject anyway- Leaving the subject for a peaceful conversation.

“How's the fever?”

Eddie gives him a small smile, “It died yesterday, They say I'm getting better slowly.”

The news did fill Richie with a sort of relief, But Richie knows better than to expect Eddie at school any time soon. He knows Eddie’s mother will lock him away the minute he gets home and his best friend will have to play a mommy’s boy until she breaks and lets him actually interact with other people again.

_**Psychopath.** _

Richie knew he was on borrowed time, He had no idea how long it would be till Sonia came back- Most likely storming into Eddie’s room and demanding Richie leave upon seeing him. Then Richie knew he would undoubtedly put up a fight and say he had a right to see his best friend- And of course a nurse would come in and say, ‘Technically Mr.Tozier, You aren’t family’. 

Then he would get thrown out and spend the rest of his day agonizing over what the bitch was doing to Eddie. He would think about how scared he must be, And right now as he looked down at his best friend, He could see the fear behind his eyes- And Richie knew that he was helping to sooth it, Even if it was just for a little bit.

“ ‘Missed you at school today, Spaghetti.” 

-And then of course that the moment Eddie actually looks at the clock and realizes that Richie should in fact still be at school and that he had skipped the majority of the school day to come visit him at the hospital.

“Richie! You’re supposed to be at fucking school! I can’t even believe you right now! You’re so smart and you choose to visit me at the hospital! You could get suspended for this!”

They both know that's a lie, Richie is in fact the smartest kid at Derry high, and would probably be valedictorian. Their school would rather keep him and deal with his shenanigans than lose that.

“Eddie, it's fine, Don’t blow a gasket! Just chill.” Richie’s about three seconds from busting out in complete hysterical laughter.

Eddie’s face is all red and he looks like steam could come out of his ears if they were in one of those old ass cartoons. He knew Eddie was just worrying about him but it was honestly funny as shit that he was worried about Richie’s fucking grades while he was in the hospital.

Eddie’s still holding Richie’s hand and in that moment he decides to fucking squeeze it, And it kind of feels like he’s crushing his bones because- Fuck it hurts.

“You. Are. The. Most. Irresponsible. Boy.” 

Yet, Richie can see that Eddie is also just having a bit of trouble hiding his little giggles, Because they both know he finds it funny that Richie’s face is contorted in pain- Richie knows he probably is overreacting to getting his hand squeezed like Eddie’s pregnant and giving birth.

“You, Eddie Kaspbrak, Are Evil.” 

“Nuh uh.”

Eddie was such a fucking nuessance, But he was a nuessance that Richie would rather die than live without- And now Eddie’s loosening his grip on Richie’s hand only a tiny bit, Still holding him tight, But its for totally different reasons and they both know it.

They hear the turning of the doorknob and locking eyes, Richie’s sure Eddie can see the fear in his own eyes- And no, Richie’s not afraid of fucking Sonia Kaspbrak, He’s terrified that she’s gonna take it out on Eddie.

“Hide!” It was more of a whisper than a shout of a demand.

Richie listened though, Scrambling to move the chair back to its original spot and racing into the bathroom to hide from the monstrosity that is Eddie’s mother.

_“Eddie-Bear! I didn’t know you were awake!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Send kudos, Comments and subscribe!!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Kellie


	12. Just Like You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie’s pretty sure if he hears that nickname one more time he’s going to fucking kill himself, And then Sonia fucking Kaspbrak. He’s also come to the conclusion that she’s the most overbearing psychotic woman he’s ever met in his entire life. 
> 
> -Well, He’s known that bitch his entire life and she never ceased to piss him off. He could practically see her squeezing Eddie’s cheeks till they’re red and splattered with bruises the size of her chubby and bloated fingers- Even the finger that still holds a golden wedding band cutting off circulation to the rest of her red veined hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT!! IM SORRY
> 
> Im going through a lot and just couldn't post three thousand words, Im v sorry.

_**R**_ ichie’s pretty sure if he hears that nickname one more time he’s going to fucking kill himself, And then Sonia fucking Kaspbrak. He’s also come to the conclusion that she’s the most overbearing psychotic woman he’s ever met in his entire life. 

-Well, He’s known that bitch his entire life and she never ceased to piss him off. He could practically see her squeezing Eddie’s cheeks till they’re red and splattered with bruises the size of her chubby and bloated fingers- Even the finger that still holds a golden wedding band cutting off circulation to the rest of her red veined hand.

“Mommy, I’m alright- I know I’m sweating, It was just a bad dream.”

He could hear Eddie’s soft voice tremble as the words tumbled out of his mouth, His sentences coming out almost as a whisper- Maybe he kept quiet in an attempt to keep his mother’s anger at bay.

“Oh Eddie, You should really let me give you your sleeping medication, It would make things so much easier for you.”

At her words, Eddie didn’t hesitate to begin his protesting.

“Mommy! I told you I don’t want any pills! Not even the ones you give me.”

Eddie’s voice was stern, something Richie rarely heard come out of his mouth when it was turned towards his mother. That woman seemed to have the effect of a lion on Eddie, It seemed no matter how caged in she was, How locked tight she could possibly be, There was this threat of him being torn apart that kept all his rage at bay and left him a mess on the floor, Shaking and begging not to be ripped to shreds.

Richie’s eyebrow quirked up at Eddie’s words and he couldn’t help the smirk tugging at his lips as he heard Sonia’s retort.

“Eddie, You don’t know any better- That Tozier boy- Oh and that awful Marsh girl have gotten to you! They’re making you sick, baby.”

Oh yes, The awful Tozier boy had gotten to him alright, Snuck into his room for years- Held him tight while he cried. Called him cute and pinched his cheeks, Gave him piggy back rides home.

In fact, Richie had gotten to Eddie, Richie had touched that boy all over, Except of course the two places he wishes he could get his hands or preferably fingers on. 

-And what Richie Tozier wouldn’t do to have his hands on Eddie, To really have them all over him- To hold him close, Feel every part of his body against Richie’s own. Holy fuck, He would kill to just touch Eddie’s ass, Round and plump- His body like an hour glass that you coulkd easily run your hands over.

Fucking hell that boy was beautiful, And Richie had almost tuned out his enraged screams- Almost- Because Sonia was back at it again.

She had mellowed out over the years, usually just throwing side glares and some snarky comments about his friends and Richie specifically, But now that Eddie was holled up in the hospital she wasn’t holding back- And Richie was listening with the biggest smile as Eddie fought back- Just like he had years ago, With his small arm wrapped up in a cast just like today.

Wow- Fuckin’ da ja vu, huh?

  
-Jesus, If you could see the fucking dust under this hospital bed..If Eddie could see the dust under this hospital bed, He would have a freakin’ anuerism and die. He would fuckin’ croak if he saw the amount of dirt that he was physically laying under.

Richie was refraining from sneezing as he listened to Sonia giving the Losers’ every insult in the book, And he could practically see her squeezing Eddies cheek and waving a disapproving finger in Eddie’s direction, As if it would magically make Richie and the rest of their friends disappear.

He gave an eyeroll to the empty air and waited not so patiently for Sonia to disappear to grab chips or whatever the fuck she does when she leaves Eddie alone for long periods of time in a fancy ass- Yet apparently dirty hospital room.

He saw her ugly swollen feet walk past the bed and towards the door and Richie thanked god that she had left at this moment, Because he’s pretty sure he was about to let out a huge ass sneeze in about three point five seconds, and they both would’ve been screwed, And not in the fun way.

Richie let out a sigh of relief as he shimmied out from under the bed and threw himself into the guest chair, letting out the huge sneeze that he had felt coming for the last fifteen minutes.

“Jesus christ Rich! You’re gonna get me even more sick.”

Eddie didn’t squeal or wave his hands around in the frantic motions that Richie was oh so used to. Instead he just seemed to disappear under the covers and into his soft pillows. It made Richie’s brow furrow as he looked at his best friend, It dawned on him then that Eddie had really just spent the last fifteen minutes in a different type of torture than Richie.

“Fuck, Im sorry Eds- That my allergies have inconvienenced you.” He chuckled, moving the chair back to its rightful place by Eddie’s bedside.

Eddie’s eyes darted to his cotton covered lap, “Sorry- Its just you know how she is- She makes me nuts.”

Richie gave him an understanding nod, Placing his hand out onto the edge of the bed for Eddie to take, And he gave him a soft smile when he did so- Feeling the warmth and comfort of the other boy surrounding him like a soft blanket- It felt like how you imagined a cloud would feel.

He had seen those ‘carebear’ type cartoons and they’re always sitting on and riding clouds, And that’s what Richie imagines spending time with Eddie feels like- This is what touching Eddie feels like. Warm, Soft, Safe, Comfortable.

For fuck sake he loves this boy.

It takes another two weeks for Eddie to get out of the hospital, And when he does- He isn’t greeted with balloons- And Richie knows, He knows because he was there, Hiding behind a corner as Eddie was escorted out of the hospital and into his moms car.

Richie watched with a scowl on his face as Sonia gripped him just a little too tight for Richie’s liking and he wanted nothing more than to rip Eddie’s arm out of her hands. To say ‘Hes not a child’ or ‘He’s fragile, please don’t fucking break my boy.’

-And every time Richie needs to remind himself that Eddie is in fact not his boy and that they are in fact two completely separate beings that have no romantic feelings between them- And oh god do those feelings hurt, They burn, knowing that Eddie has no feelings for him, Or at least not the feelings that Richie felt.

For fucks sake, Richie felt those feelings so intensely, He felt his love like a fire, licking up his body and bubbling up into his throat, Till there is absolutely no air left in his lungs. It burned and it felt like his entire body was melting into molting lava- But he fucking loved it, He loved the feeling of being completely surrounded by Eddie, By his scent and soft body- His beautiful eyes and golden hair.

That boy was fucking beautiful.

Richie had to wait for Eddie’s mother to drive a few blocks away before he was kicking his skateboard out and he was riding his way back to his own home and into the sanctity of his bedroom.

He had spent the last couple hours with Eddie, Running his fingers through the smaller boy’s hair as they talked absent mindedly. Eddie had been chastising him every day about missing school and how he needed to do his homework.

-But fuck that hair, And his soft skin, It had just a bit of that fire in his throat melting down into his stomach, bubbling up, like boiling water that steamed throughout his whole body. He could feel it pooling as he slammed his back onto his bed- ‘Course he’s jerked off to images of Eddie that have been burned into his brain for years.

-But there was something different now, About jerking it to his best friend than there was before. There was something electric about it, Something that felt like lightening being bolted through his veins as he reached for his cock, As if by some magical way- Rubbing one out would fix all his problems, as if the fire that he constantly felt for Eddie would be put out, If even for a moment.

However, there was a part of him, This tiny part that felt guilty- It was the type of guilt that he felt every time he’s tried to jerk off since being in the hospital. Something that told him this was wrong, Or that what he was doing was wrong.

At first he had thought that maybe it was just guilt, For y’know being turned on by the person he’s known his whole life- Which was odd, Because he’s never felt that way before. Well- Okay, He’s never felt that way leading up to jerking off.

-And by the grace of god- Or not so fucking gracefully, His landline rings. 

Part of Richie wants to scream, Cry, not pick up the phone- And just to jerk so hard it burns, So then maybe part of him will relax and he’ll have enough brain power to finally think straight. He’s been horny as shit for fucking weeks.

Another part of him knows that it’s Eddie whos dialing his number and anxiously waiting for his response on the other end. 

No matter how extremely fucking hard Richie was at just the thought of touching Eddie, He let out a shaky sigh and brought his hand up to his landline, Giving the ugly lime green piece of technology a once over before bringing the receiver to his ear.

“Spaghetti! I knew it would be you.”

“Richie, I haven’t even fucking talked yet.”

He heard Eddie’s voice come out in a hushed whisper and he knew that he was most likely hiding in the bathroom, attempting to keep as much space from his mother as possible.

“Yeah well now you are, Glad to be home?” 

He could practically hear his best friend's eye roll.

“I- You know how it is.”

_**“Yeah, I do.”** _


	13. You can thank the guy, Who wrote this song.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is not irritable.
> 
> He is definitely not pissy- As Miss. Marsh has been muttering since the day Eddie got out of the hospital- And now that his best friend wasn’t stuck in that creepy building with needles in his skin, Richie had been forced to attend school regularly again- Not that he ever really did..But more than he had in the last couple weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know its been almost a year, Ive been going through so much that I hadn't been able to continue this fic! But here I am, I know its not my normal 2k but its a start..Considering the non existent words before :)) Please enjoy and comment, Because it'll really help me keep this fic going!
> 
> Msg me on tumblr if ya want @toziersspaghettihead
> 
> Love,Kellie

He is not irritable.

He is definitely not pissy- As Miss. Marsh has been muttering since the day Eddie got out of the hospital- And now that his best friend wasn’t stuck in that creepy building with needles in his skin, Richie had been forced to attend school regularly again- Not that he ever really did..But more than he had in the last couple weeks.

His days have been filled with skipping class and smoking in an alleyway with Bev, Until someone interrupts their fun and they get dragged back kicking and screaming. Its not like Richie genuinely had an issue with learning, He just hated the whole ‘school’ thing. More than usual actually, For reasons unbeknownst to all the losers’ their problems with authority has gotten worse over the corresponding weeks after their ‘attack’.

Richie isn’t exactly able to count how many principal office visits he’s attended since returning to the school- Or the forced detentions that they all know Richie won’t bother showing up to. He’s allowed to slide though..Because his dear Staniel had it slip to the teachers that he immediately goes to Eddie’s to tutor him while he’s bedridden. 

Speaking of Stan...He seems to have developed a second personality- Its kind of hilarious, Because Stan has always been great at taking orders and listening to instructions, However any time someone outside of the Losers even attempts to demand or order him around- They get served the biggest attitude Richie has ever seen come from his best friend...Its kinda wild.

Ben however, He seems to be taking to orders more than usual, Richie knew Ben would be a teacher's pet, But He never expected him to be a walking Door mat, Even Ben himself is finding this new version of him weird. Mr. Handsome was been jumping at the chance to help anyone- Way more than usual. 

Its unsettling if you ask Richie..Although Ben doing snack runs for him has an advantage.

As For Bev and Mike? Richie’s gotta be honest it’s dope as hell- They’ve become a trio of awesome since the attack. Mike’s been pretty badass in his truck, And Bev has got mad skills in stores- Richie’s pretty sure he hasn’t had this much new stuff since he learned how to shoplift. Life is fucking good! 

-Except for Richie’s not so tiny issue of Billiam.

Bill has been acting like a little bitch, Richie almost punched him (again). If its wasn't for Beverly’s gallant intervening, One of them would have a broken face- It would definitely be Bill. He won't listen to anyone for shit. The amount of aggression in that dicks eyes is monumental- Not to mention he insists on being around when Richie is to visit Eddie. So Richie made the executive decision to not tell specific people when he would be wandering over to Eddie’s house for a surprise visit- Other than Eddie of course.

So obviously Richie has plenty of reasons to be pissy as Bev keeps reffering him as- But hes not, Theres just something unnerving him every time he isnt with Eddie- He keeps worrying about him and wondering how hes doing way more than usual. The worst part is, Richie’s pretty sure hes going insane because his brain continuously tells him he needs to be around to protect Eddie- But other than his psychotic mother, No one is out to get his Best Friend.

So like he said, Going nuts.

Bev is skating next to him, Drinking on of the largest cans of monster hes ever seen- They were sharing it previously, But once they started skating down the street and away from the hellscape of school, Beverly had claimed it as solely hers and he had let a shrug pass from his body, Aiming most of his focus towards getting to Eddie’s house and having enough time to hang before his psycho mother gets home from work and mauls the poor kid for the rest of the night.

“Just Admit how psyched you are to see him and you can have some of this energetic goodness.” Bev Cooed.

Richie offered her an eyeroll, “Im just happy he’s alright Bev- Dont make it more than it is.”

The red headed beauty swerved on her board to avoid a fatal crack, Raising her arms triumphantly- Unfortunately her good fortune was a short lived joy and she was back to nagging Richie so fast he thought he might actually acquire whiplash from her mood change.

“Rich, If ya like him..None of us are gonna judge you- Believe me, Im surprised Stan hasn’t just rode Bill’s dick into the sunset by now.”

The snort that was Richie’s response almost lead him face first into the ground- And Before the “accident” It probably would have, But his reflexes have surprisingly increased in efficiency- Which came as a very valuable surprise. Henry Bowers’ hasn’t been able to land a punch since Richie got out of the Hospital- And Richie was definitely not complaining.

“You think Stan hasn't, Yet? Cus’ I bet you twenty bucks they just haven’t told anyone.”

“Im pretty sure all seven of us have been extremely horny since the attack- Its unfair.”

The whine of exhausted after Richie’s words wasn’t missed by either of them. As they came to a halt by Eddie’s front lawn, Bev wrinkled her nose. “We’re teenagers its normal.”

“Bev I’ve had two times the average of my normal boners this week! Its not healthy.”

“Richard, You're fine- Its probably left over adrenaline.”

“Oh sureee, I’ve never heard of Adrenaline making you as horny as a bitch in heat.” Richie retorted, Before adding “Don’t fucking call me Richard.”

The two unruly teenagers make their way into Eddie’s house and up the stairs, Barging into the tiny room and dropping all their bags onto the hard wood floor with a thud.

Richie watches as Eddie moves from under the comforters, Making his way into Richie’s arms before either Richie or Bev could blink. The taller of the two boys, On instinct wrapped his arms around Eddie, Holding him up, Because apparently, his best friend thought it was a fantastic idea to jump on him instead of a normal hug- Not that Richie disagreed.

“You two took fucking forever.”


End file.
